Dave Learns Dadding

Father of a six year old and a four year old. Every time I’ve got it figured out, everything changes

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

9, upstairs: HEY DAD.

me: What?

9: FFO TISP.

me: What.

9: FFO TISP. It's 'pissed off' backwards!

me: oh *sigh*

9: It means NO WORRIES

9 & 7: FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYYYYS

wife: It's nice of them to let us live in their house.

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

She was not surprised by the big twist. Turns out Henry told her. He also told her that Snape dies. She will never be allowed to date Henry

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Overheard from my 7yo daughter's room (raspy villain voice): "I WILL DESTROY YOU TO DEATH"

(we watched Empire Strikes Back for the first time tonight)

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

The most effective way to teach your kids to cooperate towards common goals is to declare a national prank day

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Anyone have any recommendations for a good bad-ass mermaid story? The four-year-old is getting super into them, and The Little Mermaid (at least the old one?) is maybe the worst of the prince-chasing genre

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

The four year old either a) does not understand or b) does not give a single crap about the proper rules of Jinx, and it’s driving the seven year old crazy

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Once you’re the lava monster at the crowded playground, you don’t get to stop being the lava monster

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Me and the trains and the two kids for the day. These kids are gonna get ALL the culture and cuisine this city has.

*marathons the escalator/elevator loop at Kenmore Station*

*chases squirrels at the Garden*

*laughs at the naked butts on the fountains*

DADDY WE WANT HOT DOGS

[TeacherGoals @teachergoals]

Accurate! 💯

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Same vibe

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

NASA* has gotten another astronaut** suited up and off to space*** on time****, now it’s time to relax*****!

* mom and dad
** six year old
*** soccer practice
**** if they drive unsafely
***** see what the four year old is crying about

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

That reminds me

[Mass.gov Fake Tweets @MassGovt]

BREAKING: Residents are reporting roaming gangs of dads patrolling neighborhood thermostats.

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Mom acing the emergency dodge maneuver

[Rafa CR @RafaCR_28]

#Bluey

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

I’d like to thank the city of Boston for providing this humane kid trap

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Pretty sure the four year old won a Magdeburg Unicorn stuffie

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Date night with the kids, puttin on the good cologne for Dave & Busters

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Pretty sure the four year old won a Magdeburg Unicorn stuffie

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Date night with the kids, puttin on the good cologne for Dave & Busters

[Dave Learns Dadding @DaveLearnsToDad]

Being six means bringing your new favorite stick back from vacation