David Newton

TAMU and trees. Louisiana forester, honorary swamp person.

[RUTH BUZZI @Ruth_A_Buzzi]

My son became addicted to brake fluid but he can stop any time.

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

imagine being a construction worker and not being able to find carhartt double knee pants bc graphic designers bought them all

[I Think You Should Leave memes 💦🥩 @ITYSL_memes]

[on Kitchen Nightmares]

Gordon Ramsay: My god you don’t even serve sloppy steaks?
Mr Truffoni: No
Ramsay: Fuck me. And if they order a steak and a glass of water?
Truffoni: We can’t stop them
Ramsay: Oh for fucks sake. So they’re just sloppin em up themselves then. Christ.

[glow moss @tolecrien]

I feel like Kamala Harris has ziploc bag full of beautiful rocks in her purse

[Steven Bonaventure x @absolutegazelle]

God creating December:

[Zoe Camp @jzcamp]

How are we doing on breadsticks over here

[I Think You Should Leave memes 💦🥩 @ITYSL_memes]

My Spotify Wrapped is here!

[Pavel @es_aion]

Lord the amphetamines you put on earth for men to ski 400km are being used to look at spread sheets faster

[lolt64🕵️ @lolt64]

tiramasu is a naturally occuring phenomenom it's mined from the ground

[McKeever @JohnnyMcKeever]

haven’t had a glass of water in like 5 days I feel great

[jame @kloogans]

"ur so quiet" i took too many edibles and i am getting sucked into my hat please help me

[Lil Samsquanch @lilsamsquanch66]

When I was in second grade I played soccer and in one game I scored a goal in my own net, on the drive home my dad told me that in some countries if did that they would have me executed , that's what I think about now every time I watch soccer

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

[guy who has only ever been to chicago, visiting his second city] take me to your Bean

[@bowerbird.bsky.social @cix_eria]

🫡 emoji of the year i think. genuinely don’t remember how i used to communicate before it

[blanco @beerdefeater]

White people see 6 IPA’s available on draft at the bar and start doing the worm

[Nieltown @nieltown]

They should make a Slim Jim that gets you fucked up

[Matt McCusker @mattwritesbooks]

Truck drivers are easily my favorite group of people to think about.