🥯 🧙‍♂️

Its me, I'm the guy.

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

Sometimes I think I'm better than I actually am. Then I realize I'm the best at LITERALLY everything, so it really doesn't matter.

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

My best friends famous 😎

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

If we're both married at 30, do you wanna cheat on our spouses together?

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

@SkylarGrey27 That's cool, no need to let everyone know I was there too

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

@SkylarGrey27 Back after my 7th 2 year hiatus

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

I think 2024 is bad decision summer: adult money edition.

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

@alvin_resner Why do you say things just to hurt me Al. You know how much brainpower it took from me to craft that tweet. That's been in the works for months, I updated you weekly, it was in the newsletter.

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

It just dawned on me that I'm literally the right person asking me away from robbing a bank. Like if Elon musk rolled up in a space car to ask if I wanted to rob a bank? Fuck yeah dude, lemme hop in

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

Very happy to see that @esportsjatt is back on the @LCSOfficial casting desk. Missed him and @CaptainFlowers casting together, felt they had great chemistry together!

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

I feel like I was born in the wrong region of the United States. Possibly the only person in the midwest that prefers Blue cheese to ranch

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

Dear washing machine companies: learn how to make the time it says it will take for my clothes to be done at least a little more accurate. I've been waiting over an hour for a load that CLAIMED it would take 35 minutes. Be better.

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

@DevinBaysa Yo, A Detailed and Poetic Physical Threat to the Person Who Intentionally Vandalized My 1994 Dodge Intrepid Behind Kate's Apartment?

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

I have decided I'm going to dedicate my life to baking bagels. Thank you all so much for your support in this.

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

Why do pop rocks pop though.

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

@SkylarGrey27 Me too man

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

@SkylarGrey27 who are you and why have you liked every one of my tweets?

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

@hxrleyh I just can't choose I look so good in all of them

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

Swans are basically Nazi geese, decide what that means on your own time.

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

@DevinBaysa Out here sounding kinda chatholic man

[devin @DevinBaysa]

Its about to get real dark real quick

[🥯 🧙‍♂️ @DavemanBay]

@DevinBaysa Don't let dad catch you saying that bro