David B. Thomas

Button pusher, mark maker, overthinker, dog petter, content marketer. In awe of my child. Frequently damp. Mostly harmless.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

No, @MrJamesMay, don't let the Italians take away your stripey shirt!

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

@chrisbrogan Which one is your favorite?

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

@chrisbrogan I haven't done #my3words in a while. So far I have:

Squeegee
Felafel
Abracadabra

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

One thing I've learned from movies is that if you've finally managed to create a peaceful life for yourself, be very careful if someone offers you just one last job.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

If you're ever in doubt and can't reach me, get me the lox and cream cheese on a plain bagel. If I've already eaten, I can save it for later.

Or salt bagel if they have it.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

@doctorow Those lamps look oddly hopeful.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

Before you criticize someone's shoes you should walk a mile in them, because they might be very comfortable and/or designed to correct some sort of orthopedic issue.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

One of the best things about the holiday season is that if you shout "DON'T COME IN HERE!" people assume you're wrapping presents.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

@yinkaElujoba @nytimes I loved your piece on Theaster Gates. "The room becomes another vessel, dark like an ark shut out from the world" is a magnificent sentence. Thank you.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

My inner five-year-old is constantly disappointed that coffee isn't chocolatey.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

I think it took me so long to realize I was pretty good at doing simple math in my head because throughout the '70s and early '80s I was frequently told to "just multiply by 9/5 and add 32" as though that was no big deal.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

@sullmcintyre @rbegg @pryan2112 I returned to Twitter for this?

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

Absolutely fascinating.

https://t.co/y4FGuj2OmM

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

"What time is your first call tomorrow?" is definitely not a question I ever thought I'd be asking my 12-year old.

[James Longman @JamesAALongman]

More good humour from Italians stuck at home... 😂

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

My wife and I are playing a game to see who can embarrass the other one most during a video conference call.

Well, technically she doesn't know we are but she will in a minute.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

I went to the sink after taking the garbage out and had a moment of confusion along the lines of, "Do we still wash our hands after stuff like this?"

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

I'm following the medical advice against touching my face and am only touching the faces of strangers.

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

This is really cool. I started watching F1 again in 2018 and now I have a team to pull for. (Although I've always liked Carlos Sainz, Jr. because of his dad.)

https://t.co/lNBt2sFuqs

[David B. Thomas @DavidBThomas]

Waiter with peppermill: "Say how."
Diner: "I thought the expression was, 'Say when.'"
Waiter: "I don't know how this thing works."