David Kroll

Lower your expectations... Lower... Still lower... Okay, now you can read my stuff.

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

And in the category of Best Underperformance by a Financial Institution, the Oscar goes to...

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

Happy You-Know-How-Many, @MarkHamill!

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

@robreiner One other way to put it: He fucked himself.

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

Satire for sanity's sake. #phakenoos

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

Imagine @HamillHimself, back in the day, taking the kids out on Halloween while HE was in costume. #jedimindtrickortreating

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

@tuson1188 @carlreiner True, putting on a shirt doesn't pay the bills, but here's one example of black actors in The Dick Van Dyke Show: Greg Morris and Mimi Dillard appeared in the "That's My Boy??" episode.

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

Satire for sanity's sake. #phakenoos

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

@AndyLunique Wang Commander

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

40 years ago this month I printed posters like this to give to @HamillHimself, @HarrisonFordLA, and #CarrieFisher at the LA press junket for #TheEmpireStrikesBack. Ah, good times…

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

Satire to keep you sane... or make you crazy. #phakenoos

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

#phakenoos

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

@realDonaldTrump So... you’re caving because of criticism from Dems and the media? I thought you always stood up to them... Guess not!

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

#phakenoos

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

@nxnwbrew NXNW is a terrific place, but are you sure it’s Austin’s oldest brew pub? I thought the Draught House has been in business 3 years longer - since 1995. But maybe I’m mistaken.

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

#phakenoos

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

@johnkrasinski If you ever need someone to play your character's dad, I'd be honored... And congrats on A Quiet Place -- terrific film!

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

@people After “a few weeks?” Gee, what could possibly go wrong??

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

@jimleachOC She looks like she’s just seen the first sign of the Apocalypse.

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

#phakenoos

[David Kroll @DavidCKroll]

#phakenoos