David Collenette

Author, UK business owner, biker, husband, father, badly-shaved ape.

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@mrdanwalker @louiseminchin @BBCNaga Welsh government says "no driving for exercise" and yet, #golf clubs opening next Monday - what's going on @fmwales?

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@adamboultonSKY The UK needs real news media, not sensation-seeking rating-chasers.

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@hugorifkind @Lord_Sugar You'd bollock an apprentice for not checking their facts. ;)

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@Lord_Sugar Just checked this; it's bollocks.

[Julia Hartley-Brewer @JuliaHB1]

How about we all smile at the good news that another healthy baby has been born into this world and leave the rest to the parents to decide? Just a thought.

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@ForgottenLtd I haven't taken a loan when my business was operating normally, how can taking one out now, when I have no idea how long it will take to get back on track, make any fiscal sense? Lots of bust companies next year.

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

Government offers loans to #microbusiness

#UKGovernment @RishiSunak @ForgottenLtd @SmallBizSatUK

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@realDonaldTrump You are a dangerous, senile old man. Your doctors are killing themselves. Wake up.

[ForgottenLtd @ForgottenLtd]

It’s the disparity with sole straders that’s the bitterest pill. Small biz owners have been given an unfair disadvantage vs. our self employed competitors who continue to trade + get govt. backed support - our only option is debt
#ForgottenLtd
#2MillionReasonsWhy
#FinanceBill

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@piersmorgan @piersmorgan You are the reason people are breaking social distancing. Instead of pointing the finger at everyone trying to save lives, take a look at yourself. You're a dangerous narcissist.

[Marshall Julius @MarshallJulius]

Get away from her, you BITCH! #AlienDay

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@afneil Even if true: Why would a leader issue "sarcastic" remarks that could be misinterpreted during an important press conference anyway? #TrumpIsSenile

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@theJeremyVine Was hoping you could tell us. Need a bollocks translator.

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@Lord_Sugar @piersmorgan #ITV shares down: -43%

[ForgottenLtd @ForgottenLtd]

100% CIBLS guarantees are just another bailout for the banks. Small businesses will still go under, while the banks losses are covered.

Thanks, @RishiSunak, but we're #NotInterestedInCBILS

#ForgottenLtd
#cbilsisnotworking
#CBILSnotinterested

[Rachel Riley MBE 💙 @RachelRileyRR]

You couldn’t make it up 😂🤣

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

@Lord_Sugar @piersmorgan The enemy of your enemy is your friend.

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

#BirdHumour. #HappySaturday

[David Collenette @DavidCollenette]

Just worked it out. Krusty is #Trump #TrumpIsALaughingStock

https://t.co/p6zK2mQ1fk

[Tim Montgomerie 🇬🇧 @montie]

Sent to me on WhatsApp