David Kaiser

Its about how hard you work.

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

How do trees get drunk? root beer.

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

Call your girlfriend "puta" it means beautiful in spanish

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

we are all alive, but few are living

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

Its what you do in the dash that makes people remember you.

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

@ColtDaMan ill throw a plate at you if you dont!

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

@JacobBernhardt Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

@JacobBernhardt want another one?

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

@JacobBernhardt Hells yeah. I thought it was pretty humorous!

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

*disciples at the last supper* *jesus stands up* let's play "never have i ever" never have i ever betrayed the Son of God *stares at judas*

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

@KyleeGardner21 http://t.co/mX6N8Mh7i8

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

WHERE DID FLAPPY BIRD EVEN COME FROM LIKE ONE DAY EVERYTHING IS NORMAL & THEN THE NEXT DAY PPL ARE CRYING & GETTING DIVORCED BC OF THIS GAME

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

@ColtDaMan not sure yet but you never flipped a table...

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

@ColtDaMan @ZachHoppenjan i love platteville

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

im exhausted from all this studying i havent done

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

@ColtDaMan no balls

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

i dont say “no” to drugs i say “no thank you” because i wasnt raised in a fucking barn like some of you hoodlums

[David Kaiser @DavidKaiser19]

Love is in the air tonight.