David Keyser

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

The second the word beacon comes out of your mouth, you’ve lost me

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

Not sure what they put in their curriculum but, frankly, it’s impressive

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

I’ve never met a graduate of Rice University who wasn’t annoying as hell

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

Immediately know I’m going to have a bad time when I see the word “familiarly” used in a NYT crossword clue

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

If you self-identify as thought leader or something of the like on LinkedIn then frankly I’ve seen what I needed to see.

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

@CommonKendall I think the latter

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

If I had a brick and mortar business, I’d prefer being robbed to brandishing a “smile, you’re on camera” door sign

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

If one thing needs to be equal opportunity, it’s sidewalk access. Why am I, a solo sidewalk traveler, being relegated to the outskirts to accommodate a 14-file group 😫 rattle me that !

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

Is there a Mandela effect about the monstrous removal of the “r” in orange sherbeRt

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

Is there a faction of people happier than adult rollerbladers

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

The chokehold museum attendants have on the well-being of everyone in their close proximity

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

A parent has never said the word militant in a non-scary fashion

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

my ducks: 🦆
🦆
🦆

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

It’s a shame this woman’s crisp oration is obscured by her delusion

[Timothy Burke @bubbaprog]

did you guys think this one through or

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

My mom is out here vilifying Cox because she can’t remember her Apple ID 😵

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

A funnier thought hasn’t crossed my mind than Biden choosing Tomi Lahren as his running mate

[David Keyser @DavidKeyser13]

@phat____nat pipe down