David Letterman

Talk Show Host. Stooge. Not really David Letterman. RP.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

I'm retiring next year. It's been fun. But, it's time to go.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

Hey there.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

I actually want to have Jay Leno on the show. What.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

That uh, Jimmy Fallon took over the Tonight Show last week, and I thought he did a good job.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

And he said, 'Hey, we'll close that bridge when we come to it".

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

Governor Christie was asked, 'Do you think this will hurt your chances of being president of the United States".

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

Chris Christie knew about the lane closures all along. He also knew about the Double Down, the Baconator, and the Big King.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

I hope Justin and his Bieber end up being New York City cab drivers in 30 years.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

People think I hate Jay Leno. But, I don't. And I never have. http://t.co/ST2mmS6AO9

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

The Super Bowl will be followed by the Republican rebuttal.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

So thrilled that the Tonight Show is coming back to New York. And I'm still not hosting it.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

Tickets for the Super Bowl are still on sale. If you can get to them without being caught in traffic because of Chris Christie.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

@notscarlettj It's the worst kind of anything.

[David Letterman @DavidLettermcn]

So Beiber was arrested for assault and Biebery.