David_Mondello

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.

[David_Mondello @DavidMondello]

Older brother just seriously asked me if Lincoln owned slaves. The same brother who was in all AP & Honors classes. #shame #DishonorOnYou

[David_Mondello @DavidMondello]

J.R.R Tolkien missed a golden opportunity by not calling the Fell Beasts "Terrordactyls".

[David_Mondello @DavidMondello]

My idea of restraint is only buying two books at the store when I really want to buy all of them.

[Noah Antwiler @TheSpoonyOne]

#AndThenThereWasThatOneTime Alfred fucking smoked a Predator with a pirate blunderbuss. http://t.co/gCWmyj5gyG #AintGotTimeToClean

[Noah Antwiler @TheSpoonyOne]

Not like some autoshotgun or a Waynetech railgun or even something using standard ammo. One shot filthy iron. One. "I only need one."

[Noah Antwiler @TheSpoonyOne]

I do love how, of all the military-grade weaponry Alfred could choose to have loaded, on-hand, and ready, he picks a blunderbuss from 1812.

[Grant Imahara @grantimahara]

Can't decide whether to decorate the new soap dispenser as an R2 or a Dalek. #nerdproblems

[ARCHIVED - Curiosity Rover @MarsCuriosity]

Taking stock this holiday season. I'm planning smoother paths for the new year. http://t.co/rTt1YChU71

[BBC News (World) @BBCWorld]

Uruguay passes bill to pioneer state control of cannabis market, reports @BBC_DelosReyes http://t.co/AB1dE9t40c

[Melville House @melvillehouse]

Wondering what to get that special someone in your life? A book. Get them a damn book. It's not hard.

[Jenny Lawson @TheBloggess]

"MOM, I FOUND A TARDIS." Me: It's too small. Her: (slightly exasperated) It's bigger on the inside.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

You played a long, noble game against short-sighted, ignoble morons. "Extraordinary" doesn't come close. #RIPNelsonMandela

[Derek @DerekTVShow]

#Derek on religion. Have a great day!

[David_Mondello @DavidMondello]

PSA: Trilbys are worn by neckbeards, fedoras are worn by Indiana Jones and classy men. Get your facts straight.

[David_Mondello @DavidMondello]

Someone clearly doesn't know the meaning of facetious.

[David_Mondello @DavidMondello]

This is how much mashed potatoes are left over from Thanksgiving. Seven pounds of uneaten taters.

[David_Mondello @DavidMondello]

The original Terminator has aged extremely well.

[David_Mondello @DavidMondello]

So awesome to see the world wide fandom of Doctor Who. #DoctorWho50thLive

[David_Mondello @DavidMondello]

Totally ready for #DoctorWho50th. http://t.co/0CGMRCE74L