David Oakes

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

http://t.co/ClHko4e2hU will not get a cent of my money until they can tell me which apes I came from. http://t.co/hvypWMwQwt

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

http://t.co/hPoary96M6 Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life.

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

http://t.co/jNLUGwC7Jl Babies are like Polaroid pictures. They develop quicker when you shake them.

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

http://t.co/0taUkyNAkz I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

http://t.co/XLbt8W6WJO Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass.

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many. http://t.co/4sng9S8wZA

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

Ran out of Manila envelops. Off to the Philippines. http://t.co/FrT2eQOCIi

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home. http://t.co/4HkiMImBaB

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

http://t.co/5cqyYNd3 Cereal, you need milk more than milk needs you. Just being real.

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

http://t.co/ZWwKGzw2 Still can't find my keys. I should probably check the everything bagel.

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

http://t.co/GOf0AfbC It's amazing the things you'll do for a person when you want to see them naked.

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

omg this fire truck is being such an attention whore right now http://t.co/wfjX0eDc

[David Oakes @DavidOakes]

I am about to go to wrk! but stopping off to see my gf first