DavidSays

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"I'm moving to Greensboro because I miss my friends." #backflip #highschool #squirrel

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"If it wasn't for me you'd be pickin chickens."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"You've been acting a bit 'talibany' lately. You need some good ol' American spirit to get your patriotism back."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"Will Bruce Jenner be stripped of his Olympic metals because he's a woman now?"

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"If it's not Jerry Springer, I ain't watching it."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"We killed a lot of virgins to get that olive oil."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"Adam Levine's voice is addicting."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"Fast and Furious 7 comes out on Good Friday. That's going to be a good damn Friday!"

[April Walnofer @april_walnofer]

"New zip code, new rules." @DavidSaysThangs #lifeprophet

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"I really like this girl. But she has a boyfriend. I guess I'll just have to become commander in chief and send him to the front lines."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"If I piss on the ground it doesn't go to the center of the earth."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"I'm gonna go touch the sun so I can burn my fat off."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"We need to drink, climb the fence, go through Narina, and conquer the hill!"

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"I just had a mental vision of your butt hole winking."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"My nipples are not six feet tall."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"I'm actually making a movie called The Most Ethical Christmas Alive."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"Suck my ethical schlong."

[DavidSays @DavidSaysThangs]

"Should you be allowed to swim in the Olympics even if you're in a wheelchair."

[Leah Rothrock @lcathrock]

"I hate dogs. They're like the rats of the sea!" -@DavidSaysThangs #oh

[Rachel Rothlisberger @smelody11]

"Chickens don't lay cold eggs." - David's argument for never trying deviled eggs. @DavidSaysThangs