It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks

I want to keep my reputation. I'm a sensation. Try me once 😁 cause Yes sir. I can.

[Beth Rigby @BethRigby]

Cummings evidence echoing what heard y’day about disfunction at heart of govt/PM failings. But key for me today is this extract from Vallance diary: BJ suggesting govt should let older people get covid to protect the rest of society from the damaging impact of a lockdown

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

Chole and Francesca are now my favorite people ever ❤️🥰🍷🥰

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

@MattChorley in 2000 I was working on Football Italia, the Italian director showed a super-slo-mo close up of a Juve defender vomiting on the half way line. Worse, they slo moed it in REVERSE so saw the sick go back up off the grass into his mouth. I can never unsee this.

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is ‘struthonianism’: the act of burying one’s head in the sand; an attitude of ‘Problem? What problem?’.

From the Latin ‘struthio’, ‘ostrich’.

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

@MattChorley Oh dear god 😳 😬

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

So let me get this straight - the USA has a population of 332 million, and the best they can do elect a president is:
Rapist charged with 91 felonys Vs Guy who just announced he'll stop Covid vaccines/funding vs 80yrd (EIGHTY). Holy fuckbags. #USA #2024Election #weareallfucked

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

Overheard at the pub:
"I'm doing a charity cycle from Leeds Castle to Brighton"
Guy next to him:
"Piece of piss, its all downhill"
😂
#CyclingForHealth #showoff #Brighton #pub

[Matt Chorley @MattChorley]

“We’re not going to save the planet by bankrupting the British people.”

No, Liz Truss did that already

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

@acjimbo @footballontnt Blimey. Even though I used to work with you @acjimbo I could have sworn you were @fredsirieix1 at first viewing.

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

Trying to rent a home for me and my 9 yr old. What chance do I have when there's 391 holiday lets as 25 rentals (2 suitable) in my town? @MrWhitstable @canterburycc @RosieDuffield1 ??

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

@TheAthletic Pay walled

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

ME Here's 6 months rent in advance
LANDLORD: No I need a guarantor for the cash
ME Dude, Here's the actual cash
LANDLORD No, I need you to prove you have income
ME I'm giving you ALL the cash in advance
LANDLORD But you need to prove your income so I know you'll pay
I give up 🙄

[Nigel Medhurst @nigelmed]

A modern family tale of suspense, mystery and dark comedy.

Think Secrets & Lies with a sprinkling of It’s a Wonderful Life and a dash of Pinter.

For anyone who’s ever been part of a family…and wishes they hadn’t !

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

Hi @IcelandFoods, lovely beef madras sauce however, is there any chance you can put some actual beef in it? 3rd curry with zero meat 😒🙄

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

@MattChorley Canterbury MP Julian Brazier came to our 6th form, Chaucer Tec, 1990(ish). Our English teacher, Mr Pestel, went around all the girls and made sure they knew his policy on abortion. They DESTROYED him. It was brilliant.

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

Had a little crush on @Tammy_Beaumont all the way through the 100, but this innings is definitely marriage material. Come to @KentWomensCrick and @MeganBelt06 will take care of you 🏏

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

After an amazing performance for @Lionesses today, I'm starting a movement to get @ellatoone99 to sign for @NUFC @NUFCWomen purely for my own amusement. Who's with me? #WWC2023

[Luke Tryl @LukeTryl]

New data point for why a war on woke might not have the cut through proponents assume. Despite a barrage of criticism for the National Trust for ‘going woke’ - 72% of Brits say it is a force for good, just 7% a force for bad. A higher net good score than the Royal British Legion

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

@mariellaf1 @TimesRadio New app, just like the queues / bus waiting times - only this one measures how drunk people are at each pub in real time. You can avoid / join each pub at your choice before entering.

[It's DAVID, not Dave - Thanks @DavidTDkent]

@bbctennis How come the outside courts coverage has been so dismal on the red button this year? There was a spider over the camera on court 8 yesterday, and today some really weird shots of Andrew Castle's legs 😯🤔?