David Tolentino

I write for TV mainly because I'm too impatient to write books.

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

@PatMcAfeeShow @AdamSchefter I 100% believe that Rodgers plans to return to Pittsburgh but doesn’t want to catch “unexcused absence” BS for skipping OTAs, Mini-Camps, Voluntary workouts, etc. like he did with the Jets. Those Pyramids aren’t going to explore themselves!

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

This is the year we turn it all around, boys! #clevelandbrowns #nfl #afroman

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

And with the opening of the Eye of Sauron the 2026 Winter Olympics in Mordor can officially begin! 🎉🔥⛷️🥌🏂⛸️🔥🎉 #Olympics2026 #EyeofSauron

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

The return of the double bag in Fiber One cereal is the greatest decision made by @FiberOne specifically and cereal makers and general. Great work, boys 👍🏽🥣

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

Sportscasters describing the current College Football Playoffs scenario:
https://t.co/F7mwA1Gh0c

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

Has any team been punished in the media more for drafting a player no other team wanted than the Cleveland Browns? Stopping the Shedeur Slide was the biggest mistake of 2025

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

#IDontWantToOverreactBUT

Dan Orlovsky is giving Ori of House Durin on @PatMcAfeeShow today

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

@PatMcAfeeShow Are we sure @AllarDrew isn’t 3 kids stacked up under a hoodie? Giving Vincent Adultman vibes

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

Doesn’t it feel like it’s a game of “Let’s erase as much history as we can and only put back the stuff they notice”?

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

It’s weird to see an adult demand another adult say “Thank you”, right? I mean, that’s some playground nonsense right there

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

Once again, I 10000% believe that what Flat Earthers really want is a free trip to space. Any amount of scientific proof given to them is a waste of time in the face of their true, space fairing desires 🚀

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

It’s been a while, but still one of my favorite tweets

[Gregg Rosenthal @greggrosenthal]

they don't tell you about all the kids who wrote this and then grew up to be 5'6

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

Shakey-shakey, egg and bac-y! Nothing like a morning earthquake to Star your day 🫨🥓🍳#earthquake #LA

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

@PatMcAfeeShow @KirkHerbstreit Would a move toward a centralized administrative system with a single commissioner essentially make college football a professional league? And the players employees of said league?

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

Has it always been “Athletics” in the Olympics and never “Track and Field”? Or did it used to be “Track and Field” and was changed to “Athletics”? I feel like I’ve gone crazy every time I look up results 🤪 #Olympics #trackandfield #Athletics

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

Team USA coming for those medals! Happy Olympics, everyone! 🦅🏅 🇺🇸🏅🦅 #olympics #teamusa

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

@PatMcAfeeShow @AustinRivers25 Nice insightful and nuanced take of “it’s either gonna work or it’s not gonna work”. We need to get this kind of brain power working on solving climate change 👍🏽

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

@PatMcAfeeShow @AustinRivers25 If the Lakers sign JJ Redick as Head Coach and draft Bronny, will they officially change their name to the LA LeBrons and fully commit to two years of sad mediocrity and early playoff exits before LeBron retires?

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

@ladyaimeejones 🏳️‍🌈
https://t.co/1RGH3EyAz6

[David Tolentino @DavidToley]

Hey guys, remember when the worst thing about Chipotle was that it made you uncontrollably sh*t yourself? Good times #chipotle