David Lee Roth

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

@GaryJBusey @Mickey__Rourke @Nick_Nolte have stories about waking up in strange situations... I haven't been to bed since the late 80's

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

If I ever get to this point someone please shoot me. RT @TheeRobertEvans Even at 80, it's hard for me to say the word "tits".

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Just saw a fan holding up a sign "Screw David Lee Roth!" I'm thinking ... Is that advice?

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Van Halen is the "Get the fuck off the sidewalk if you don't like our drivin" kinda music!

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Everyone knows "Hot For Teacher." But these days it costs me an extra $100 to get spanked with a ruler.

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

At this point the Devil Should be running with me!

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

1:54PM it's Miller Time baby! Do-bump-bump-bump-do-ditty-boo!

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

I drink right out of the bottle.

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights. I still don't need glasses

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Oh Shit! Oh shit! Oh Shit I can't find my tribal headdress!

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

If I wore a Meat suit people would think I was sober.

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Good God! Belly hair in the zipper of a Cat Suit is painfull. Last time I use a rental.

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Cancel that last move. Still waiting on my dealer :(

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Gonna perfect a new move today. Backflip off of a Marshall stack into kiddie pool full of Jello wrestlers B)

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

@Ladygaga where do you buy your cucumbers? Cause your buldge is totally Spra-da-da-doink-do-wop Dee-de-de-do-dah!

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Fell asleep in the tanning bed; now have blisters all over. On the bright side I found that Malibu Rum+cocaine=tropical cream

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

I'll be bartending all night tonight if anyone needs me I'll be in the basement

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Time for side B of my Dokken - Under Lock and Key tape! or as I call it. Escape music OOOOOOHHH!! KAAAAAYY!!!

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Just got kicked outta Baskin Robbins. Still don't know why?

[David Lee Roth @David_LeeRoth]

Whats this? an 8-ball in the coin return of my Star Castle machine? Hoodity-Dooty-BIRTHDAY!! TIME TO GET NAKED!! *SPLITS*