David Story

I'm a self employed craftsman. I have a gorgeous wife, five children, two step daughters and two granddaughters. My humor is dry as a fart.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@WSDOT_East That’s definitely Bigfoot. He confirmed it last night over drinks.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@CMoneyKS I hope he got it.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary wow 2 years and I still haven’t gotten around to deleting Twitter. My #procrastination is out of control. Please help!

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@CMoneyKS I bet she meant racists are moving in And taking over.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

Check it out! I donated to 'Back Surgery for Zoe Kohoutek' - https://t.co/ECm3SRlvWA via @gofundme

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@CMoneyKS No one knows kid, no plane has ever successfully arrived in the Bahamas...

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@SenWarren @AvengerZS @realDonaldTrump #realDonaldTrump has to get his marching orders first.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@HowToPronunce_ @EarnKnowledge Twitter is so educational #HowToPronunce

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@HowToPronunce_ @EarnKnowledge I thought it was pronounced nut-ell-ah.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@CMoneyKS @JonathanMerritt @Franklin_Graham All proceeds go to help reunite families separated at the border.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@JoeGallois I’ll send you a dollar, when I reach 10,000 followers.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@CMoneyKS Now if someone would invent an air freshener that makes bowling shoes smell good.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@CMoneyKS @JoeGallois I like to add whipped cream.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@CMoneyKS Unusual foreplay is what I keep thinking. I thought the blood rushed away from the extremities during #fightorflight.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@CMoneyKS Owned and operated by the #beverlyhillbillies.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

#frenchtuck thanks #QUEEREYESEASON2 #babysteps

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@CMoneyKS I tip a little in tip jars. I’m guessing those positions pay about $10 per hour so they could use a little bump. Maybe a 10% tip.

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@mattmaestas @CMoneyKS #threetimesaday

[David Story @Daviddadjokes]

@bobbyberk This was my favorite episode... so far.