Brady Thudium

PSU ‘19 #TTP

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

It was a beautiful two months for Bradys around the world as we thought it was finally time for another one of us to shine. But alas, TOM has pulled the rug out from under us yet again. Maybe next year, guys.

[Tom Brady @TomBrady]

These past two months I’ve realized my place is still on the field and not in the stands. That time will come. But it’s not now. I love my teammates, and I love my supportive family. They make it all possible. I’m coming back for my 23rd season in Tampa. Unfinished business LFG

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Just made a line of people laugh at the gas station and now I feel as though I have the charisma to unite the nation

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Don’t text

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Just turned 24. My brain will be fully developed at 25 according to science. Gonna be pissed if I’m still a dumbass next year

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

I often wonder who is the Lebron of the Amish and how many cows he can milk in an hour sans mechanical assistance

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Just got startled by a scarecrow couple holding hands in my neighbor’s yard. Really helped me empathize with birds and the struggles they go through on a daily basis. Say no to scarecrow

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Overheard the older man next to me at Carrabba’s ask the waiter to have the bartender recommend a drink to go with his meal. Sir, that guy is gonna give you a shot of Burnetts, a hit of his vape pen, and tell you to skip the meal so you can ride the buzz. I beg you to reconsider.

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Mark Thudium putting the onus on me to keep him from eating all 6 of the leftover egg rolls

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

At this stage of my life, days consist of just passing the time until the next opportunity to violently crack my neck or back arises

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Just got my first dose of the vaccine and now all my thoughts are stupid like this one

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Drove by an older woman lighting a cig as she glided regally across her front yard in a riding mower. It was a beautiful portrait of the idyllic suburbia that we work 40 years for a slice of. Enjoy the breeze on your face and the nic in your brain ma’am, you’ve earned it, gg.

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Need the optimal fuel to prevent a debilitating tennis elbow episode

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Going through a tough time right now, I can’t even win spam contests. Please reach out

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

@Mal_Dickson Also think of all the Jake from State Farm quips you could make. One outfit and one joke for the rest of my life, I’d be on cruise control.

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Might just start selling car insurance for State Farm so I can have the same headshot on a modestly sized roadside advertisement down the street from the local high school for the next two decades and make my family proud

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Just watched the super bowl and had a mediocre time

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Once I get that stimulus I’m gonna be tiptoeing around you fools like it’s my job

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

If I’d have known the capital building was this easy to break into I’d have fulfilled my dream of giving Ted Cruz a titty twister years ago

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Somebody report me dead so I can attend my own funeral in disguise and take notes

[TMZ @TMZ]

Tanya Roberts Is Still Alive, Despite Her Rep Having Said She Was Dead https://t.co/4A3dF95ADc

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Just turned 24. My brain will be fully developed at 25 according to science. Gonna be pissed if I’m still a dumbass next year

[Brady Thudium @DeRealSlimBrady]

Here’s how eating a sandwich must work for our great species: Every ingredient must be acquired. Any non-bread ingredients must be between bread. All sides must be chewed and swallowed. And the stomach is there to digest.

Hope this adds some value to the sandwich conversation.

[U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell @SenMcConnell]

Here’s how this must work in our great country: Every legal vote should be counted. Any illegally-submitted ballots must not. All sides must get to observe the process. And the courts are here to apply the laws & resolve disputes.

That's how Americans' votes decide the result.