Dean Hoon

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

Remember, it's illegal to use your phone while driving. Instead, use the giant iPad built into the car and flip through 50 settings to use navigation or turn ac on.

[𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚜 @Know_Bueno]

Kids today will never know that before the internet, we sat down on Sunday nights to watch Bob Saget host TikTok on television

[Dean Hoon @DeanHoon]

@Nerdspringbreak when I was 15 and my gf said wolverine was hot and I genuinely spiraled

[KayB @Kapuki6]

I miss when liking someone didn’t give you psychosis

[Dean Hoon @DeanHoon]

It's been nitch until recently some pompous fuck said it the wrong way and everybody is so NPC brainrotted they started doing it too. Like how "porsche" is suddenly two syllables

[morri the weedlien. @YAOIPATHY]

Everyone who has pronounced it irl around me has said “nitch” and it’s made me feel like I’ve been losing it

[Dean Hoon @DeanHoon]

why not? would that be so horrible? to engage with somebody's mind instead of their body? do you value his heart and soul at all? or your own?

[havoc @_havoc224]

“he’s using u for ur body” do u think i went to his place at 3am to discuss the economical and political state of the world?

[Brian Lui @brianluidog]

Most normies don't understand that water has an absurdly high specific heat capacity. They have no idea. They'll microwave soup for 30 seconds and are so puzzled, then they microwave a chicken breast for two minutes to create microwave a la tsar bomba

[𝖄𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖊𝖊 @Be_like_yankee]

Weed pens got people high in places nobody would’ve ever thought about smoking.

[々 @ayospawned]

Women will literally say 'idk maybe I'm just crazy' right before accurately predicting a sequence of events with 100% psychic precision.

[𝖒𝖔𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖌 @wanted4mogging]

i have a kink basically i love when she loves me. i love when she says i'm handsome or she's proud of me or when she says i love you. this is a kink, apparently. praise kink they call it

[Dean Hoon @DeanHoon]

I spent $16 feeding me and bestie with half price appetizers at Applebee's u just don't know how to hustle

[tody @666tody666]

How are you supposed to buy groceries and it costs hundreds of dollars for like a weeks worth of food and if you decide to go out instead it’s like $25 to go to Burger King like should everyone just die

[drewwww @ooi43z]

guys who are 6ft being genuinely insecure abt their height annoys me imagine being a 5'3 dickless manlet

[birdbath @birdbath]

Always keep cash and a blade or blunt object on you. I was walking home one night and a guy on a bmx bike asked if I wanted to buy it. He requested a mere $10. I knew he stole it, but I had spraypaint at my house so I took him up on the deal. Then he inquired where he could get crack. It was 3 am but I knew just the place, so I directed him there whilst doing bunny hops and riding lazily on the back pegs. Then the crack dealer asked me about the bike and offered me $20 for it. Never accept the first offer. I told him i had it for years and was really sentimental about it, the guy who sold it to me earlier didn't utter a word because I already flashed the boxcutter I keep in my crewsocks when I went to grab the $10 earlier for him. We eventually settled on a trade of 3 grams of meth for it. I tell you this because I want you to remember that the whole world doesn't exist behind a screen, but rather with people who actually who go outside with an open mind. You always have to be ready to kill people though

[Dean Hoon @DeanHoon]

@gwennypaltry trans pride 🏳️‍⚧️

[Dean Hoon @DeanHoon]

stop saying "diy" when you mean black market you stupid faggots. none of you are making testosterone in your kitchen just stfu

[AYANNY @gaygirldiaries]

“i dont need to drink or smoke to have fun” okay congrats btch you can drive then

[Dean Hoon @DeanHoon]

i wanna be a death doula too

[Grace @gracecamille_]

my girl was really struggling and i suggested volunteering bc giving back to the community is gets you out of your own head, forms connections, makes you grateful for what u have etc etc.. today she signed up to be a DEATH DOULA and I’m like??? girl I meant DELIVERING MEALS

[Dean Hoon @DeanHoon]

@thepeacepoet99 https://t.co/PYCzBlbFvI

[Dean Hoon @DeanHoon]

@SamSquid3 @RealDianeYap Then why are men so inconvenient