Dean Parisi

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

@brooklynj27 Me too!

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

I have no idea why baseball writers get to decide who’s in the hall of fame. What if you never talked to the writers, then what?

So many more Yankees should be in, really.

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

They traded Randle and what’s his name now..Donte. I don’t think they needed to trade all that

But we’ll see. We’ll see in December.

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

Big Brother has been on air for 26 years. I’ve missed 6 episodes ever

Maybe 8, 9, 10.. something like that. Still, not bad. Crazy

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

I went back to Shop Rite after my two year ban was up

They friggin kicked me out, I did nothing wrong what the hell is up with that now?

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

@elonmusk Do I get my videos back? I need to send some to americas funniest home videos

I really do

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

Told ya

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

I think it’s the Nets, Golden State, or the Warriors

One of those teams will win

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

I think it’s the Nets, Golden State, or the Warriors

One of those teams will win

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

Cookin up the sweet potatoes in the oven. Half n half. Half sweet, half regular

Should I put cream cheese or peanut butter on them? Or both?

Need the protein

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

My fuckin remote fell apart. Batteries fall out like you can’t believe. Gotta go to cablevision.

Happened like a month ago. Not even funny.

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

I don’t get it. These quarterbacks have good eye vision.. but not fuckin there. Unbelievable

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

This Bengals kicker smiling. Acting all fuckin jolly. What the fuck you just missed a kick

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

Get 3 quarter cups of cream cheese. Add a banana, make sure it’s ripe. Or a plantain (I like plantains better but it don’t matter). Add cinnamon. Then, 10 chocolate chips and 15 peanut butter chips

The fuckin best. I have it 2-3 times a week

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

There was a building on fire, and a cat jumped 5 stories. Hit the ground and didn’t break a bone in its body.

Holy shit, Unbelievable. Saw it on the news

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

Ya know, first time I do sit-ups I can do about 28

Second time only 18

Third time only about 15-16

What the hell is that about now?

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

Why the hell Tiger have a black box in his car?

I’ve never fuckin heard of that. A black box in a car

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

I’m watching the all star game from 2001. What a different game

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

Ya know I bet the nba once. It was 15 years ago and Shaquille O’Neal was on the team... they needed to win by 8

They won by 5. I fuckin lost

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

Oh frig you. It’s definitely the best. So friggin funny really is

That and Impractical Jokers. Definitely the best

[Clem 🏆 @TheClemReport]

The thing about Ridiculousness is that it’s on all the time AND it’s terrible!

[Dean Parisi @DeanParisi]

Joe Montana had 3 MVPs. I thought it was 2, but it’s 3. That’s amazing. Definitely one of the best