Dean Venture

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Me: If I want to watch 5 gay men going at it, just slamming it like weasels, I should be able to!
Everyone: ROFL... lolwut?
#ThingsISaySober

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

To do: live away from other people, get a dog, name it "Nymeria" #GameOfThrones

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Purdue engineering student built a "licking machine" to test out how many it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop? #YahRight

[Nathan Fillion @NathanFillion]

Dear Morning,
I'd like to invite you back to the negotiation table. You are still starting rather early.

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Ya know, bitch, shaking a bill at me after I just said "I'll put my check up this evening." Doesn't do a damn thing besides make me hate you

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Me:It's a parabolic cylinder in 3space; but with neg y-slope, centered/rotated around y = x, 180 deg in the xy-plane #NotNormalButOnMathItIs

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

I think my friend just asked me if I wanted to have sex... with him. He did this through Facebook. #WTF

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Any boy I might be interested in never likes me that way. Hipsters and douches fall in love with me all the time. Story of my life.

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Proof that my sister and I are related, she answered "8 sluts" to the math question "how many people started the rumor?" So proud #sisters

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

I'm like a government project to create something socially awkward and strong went horribly right.

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Don't wanna dirty a bowl? Use the peanut container lid as a plate. College-Ghetto Fabulous!!

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Hey you know what would be cool? If people didn't laugh when you tell them about how you and a friend could have been raped/stabbed #notcool

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Life's too short to waste on a douchebag

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

I will NEVER have another NYE like that again, I hate my friends.

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

New Year's Eve, you know what that means... COOKIES!!

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

I live in constant existential crisis due to my staunch refusal to accept that women "need" to shave anything and my practice of epilation

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

Pool and hanging out were fun, it's been a fun break. Boys, plz be men if you want to be my friend or anything else, btw, kthanxbai

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

I just realized that my Facebook pic makes it look like I'm Tebowing. I want to die. And get a new profile pic ASAP. #thisisadisaster

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

http://t.co/ouAlAaqM

[Dean Venture @Dean_Venture]

"Everything can go fuck itself before noon. They might be up, but I'm not!" #Imabear