Debster9ster

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

I’ll go with 99.9% for $100

[Mel G.Gibson @MelG_Gibson]

Simple poll. Please be honest! As of today, how much do you still trust this team?

A. 100%

B. 75%

C. 50%

D. 25%

E. 0%

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

Never had it.
He scared me then and he scares me now.

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

Annnnd, what is a woman?

[David J Harris Jr @DavidJHarrisJr]

What's your response to Stephen King?

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

🤣🤣

[Juanita Broaddrick @atensnut]

This is hilarious! 😂😂😂😂😂

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

Greasy!

[Caroline 🇺🇸 @C_2026_]

How would you describe Gavin Newsom using ONE word ??

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

Give this women $8.5 billion!

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

McDonald's is spending 8.5 billion dollars to find out why families stopped coming.

I can save them the 8.5 billion.

They took out the playground.

The plan, announced Wednesday at investor day. Better food, faster service, new equipment, AI tools, hospitality training, and a bigger push into chicken and beverages. They call it Next. The goal, they say, is making customers feel more comfortable.

Wall Street loved it so much the stock fell 5 percent to its lowest since 2022.

Over five years McDonald's shares are down 3 percent. Burger King's parent is up 14. The owner of Taco Bell and KFC is up 13.

This is not a hamburger problem. This is a McDonald's problem.

So let us talk about who used to eat there.

Parents. That was the whole business. Parents at 5:40 on a Tuesday with three kids in the back and nothing thawed at home.

You did not go for the burger. You went because your kids could run screaming through a plastic tube for 40 minutes while you sat with a coffee and experienced silence.

That was the product. The food was the cover charge.

The first PlayPlace opened in 1971 in Birmingham, Alabama, and for fifty years it did one job. It made small children demand to go to McDonald's.

Then 2020 arrived, every play area in the country closed, and a great many never came back. The equipment came out during a remodeling program named Experience of the Future.

The Experience of the Future turned out to be a touchscreen.

Their own chief executive said he did not know if ball pits were in their future.

Sir, you were not selling ball pits. You were selling forty minutes.

So now there is no counter, no playground, and no reason for a seven year old to want to go. A screen, a window, and a bag.

And for that we pay prices that require a moment of reflection in the parking lot.

For thin, overcooked, oddly uniform pucks that taste like a memory of beef.

I did not love them because they were good. I loved them because I was eight and there was a slide.

And have you seen the new buildings.

The old ones were unmistakable. Red roof, yellow arches, legible from a highway at 70 to a child who could not yet read.

The new ones are a flat gray box with a small logo and a drive through wrapped around it. A regional claims office with a fryer.

They removed the color, the characters, the counter, and the playground, and then hired consultants to find out why it no longer feels like anywhere.

Which is why, when I have to eat fast food, I go to Chick-fil-A.

Not for the politics. For the competence.

They have led the customer satisfaction index for fast food eleven years running, and average 8.5 million dollars per location against McDonald's 4 million.

More than double, while closed on Sundays. Fifty two days a year with the lights off, and still double.

A seventeen year old hands you a bag and says my pleasure and means it about 70 percent, which is 70 percent more than a touchscreen has managed.

McDonald's is spending 8.5 billion on hospitality training.

Chick-fil-A earns 8.5 million per restaurant by just having some.

So here is my consulting proposal, free of charge, on behalf of mothers everywhere.

Put the playgrounds back.

Not a nostalgia campaign. Not a retro cup. The structure. Tubes, slides, a door the kids cannot open from the inside, and a bench where a tired woman can sit.

And understand what you are buying, because it is not lunch.

A six year old does not know your food is bad. He has no basis for comparison and no functioning palate. He thinks the burger is incredible because he is standing in a castle made of tubes.

That is the window. That is the only window you get.

You catch them before the taste buds arrive, and thirty years later they drive past your sign, feel something they cannot explain, and pull in anyway.

That is not a menu strategy. That is imprinting, and you shut it down in 2020 to save on cleaning.

Eight and a half billion dollars for AI tools and hospitality training.

Or a slide.

🦋

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

Among all the other things you’re ‘too’ for.

[David J Harris Jr @DavidJHarrisJr]

It's not your age we're concerned about.

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

100%

[Angela Bishop @AngelaB0911]

@EricLDaugh @Phyllis94584953 Stormed out is the wrong terminology. They ducked their heads, hunched their shoulders, and scurried out like roaches. They carried zero pride

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

🤭🇺🇸

[Agent Blusky @AgentBlusky]

@EricLDaugh

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

🤪

[David J Harris Jr @DavidJHarrisJr]

🚨BREAKING: Despite Trump's ban, Rachel Maddow insists she will continue to be an impartial, honest, competent, and fair journalist.

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

No man, that’s so real! How could anyone confuse this with AI?

[Αηg!ҽ @angipathy]

Los vídeos que me manda mi mamá preguntando si es IA

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

Yup.
For this instance, you bet.

[Emma 🇺🇸 @Emmaiid11]

DO YOU THINK ITS OK FOR A SITTING PRESIDENT TO CALL A CONGRESSWOMAN "GARBAGE"?

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

Please don’t take my welfare check, please, noooo. 😡

[Cops @copsusablue]

The 911 Operator Realized This Was Serious #cops

[Just Jen ℞ 🫡🇺🇸 @JustJenRX]

SHARED, since it’ll piss off @IlhanMN and I would love for her to come force me to take it down 🤷🏻‍♀️

[🇺🇸Chelle🇺🇸 @CHELLESHOCKEDTM]

I’m sorry, but this is funny!!

Don’t hate me, I just have to 🤣🤣

The lone juror in the Clancy case speaks!!

I can’t breathe 😭😭

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

🤣🤣
Stupid is as stupid does. She probably put it somewhere safe, she should look there. 😉

[Maga Grace @Grace_4America]

JOE SCARBOROUGH SAYS HIS WIFE LOST HER BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO VOTE, BECAUSE THEY CANNOT FIND IT ANYWHERE.

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

??🤣

[David J Harris Jr @DavidJHarrisJr]

🚨Michelle Obama: “Let me explain something to white people. Our hair comes out of our head naturally in a curly pattern. So when we’re straightening it to follow your beauty standards, we are trapped by the straightness. That’s why so many of us can’t swim."

Thoughts?

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

🤣
Yeah, sure.

[David J Harris Jr @DavidJHarrisJr]

How would you respond to him?😂

[Optimus @Optimus_RH]

Good Morning Humans

Optimus also works as an alarm clock

[Debster9ster @Debster9ster1]

This is just the best!!!
😁

[GRANDPA’s FREE ADVICE @GOP_is_Gutless]

I support a mosque being built anywhere in the US. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.

To promote tolerance, I would also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, The Turban Cowboy and the other, a topless bar, would be called You Mecca Me Hot.

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and across the street, an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called Iraq of Ribs.

We could also have a lingerie store called Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret and a liquor store called Mohammered.
All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.

Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on. 😎 I did my part 😉or we can just send them back to where ever they came from.....