Desiree

Busy mom of one cat, 37% Funny, 67% Nauseous, 17% Bad at Math

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

New dance craze: The Struggle Shuffle. Dance partner is lukewarm chamomile tea. Eye contact is strongly discouraged. This winter only, coming to a cubicle near you
#mondaythoughts

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

"Hello, Thank you for taking the time to email me. I am in the office today but will not have the emotional capacity to respond to your emails for 10-15 weeks. For urgent matters, please find someone else. Thank you and have a great day!"
#TuesdayThoughts

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

WHO IS THIS WOMAN AND WHAT HAS SHE DONE WITH MY EXOSKELETON?
#TuesdayThoughts

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

@UnfunnyOaf Have we discussed this before? Did I know you were a FR fan? I feel like I didn't. But Midnight Organ Fight got me through most of the decade since its release.

[Scott Hutchison @owljohn]

Be so good to everyone you love. It’s not a given. I’m so annoyed that it’s not. I didn’t live by that standard and it kills me. Please, hug your loved ones.

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

Shout out to @Hamptonyount for being an absolute gem in the presence of my soul crushing awkwardness at #hpcf15 Keep crushing! #Comedy

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

@mariabamfoo Really excited & then disappointed when I saw this, damn Maria Bramford on tour at the same time and place as you!

[5280Comedy.com @5280_Comedy]

New Money. Tonight. 9:30pm @LicenseNumber1 guest host @geoffreytice w/ @zachreinert03 @DarthVaderploeg @DeeBrownWrites @impatrickscott

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

I second this intensely. https://t.co/fHydpUXe3G

[Gary @GrungleChungus]

@CaytonHolland @benroy00 @ratiobeerworks @MaraWiles @negativenegro Thank you all so much for doing this tonight. I know I absolutely needed it. You were all awesome. Thank you.

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

I hope @pattonoswalt never fails to realize how essential he is to so many of us keeping our shit together. We've got your back too.#breathe

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

https://t.co/1DwAxMdGUR

Happening tonight! Get on your best comfy pants and make funny with us! #livecomedy

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

It's going to be a great show! Come out and support live comedy! https://t.co/EGk5mnrJAe

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

Amazing show @ComedyWorks 2nite! Congrats 2 all the incredible comics & the well deserved champion @negativenegro!! #funnywomen #funnyhumans

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

When you wanna try #FaceSwap but your friends are all stuffed animals...#Nightmares

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

Since most anti cigarette ads are aired during television commercials, teens who watch Netflix must be chain smokers. #Netflixandemphysema?

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

BREAKING: Police officer in Chicago given Medal of Valor for issuing ticket to black man instead of shooting him for running stop sign.

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

LATEST-Man in traffic having passionate conversation w/empty passenger seat, break up of once happy couple sure to follow #Denver

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

BREAKING-Local woman eating alone at family restaurant asked to leave by mgmt for depressing patrons with actual friends. #StayTuned

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

Local woman asserts purchase of a new planner will be the "real key to unlocking productivity at last." #procrastinationnation

[Desiree @DeeBrownWrites]

BREAKING-Local toddler reminds man of his simple youth, temporarily relieves crushing depression before slipping back into void.