Dee Ryan

Improviser/writer/performer w/awkward texting thumbs.

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

Aw, @antoniosabatojr, are you being harassed by Hollywood? As @realDonaldTrump advised Ivanka, I hope you'd find a different career.

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

@dickc good to see you and @Rich_Fulcher together again. MT "Welcome to the @twoffice. Thanks for stopping by! http://t.co/4sTju6k6pT"

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

@usaa Does check receivables giggle at the fact that after 24 yrs. only my mother thinks I took my husband's last name? #passiveaggressive

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

@cnnbrk Was the tea party In the driver's seat?

[CNN Breaking News @cnnbrk]

Source: Car chase ended at Capitol; driver got out of car and was fired upon. http://t.co/DQjN2v2zPn

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

“Raising #creative, trailblazing #kids on the @TodayShow. @jesslahey I prefer the suburbs. @parenting @motherlode @mothereffed

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

This is how a leader walks it and talks it. Thank you, @SenWarren: http://t.co/MibVgRApuI

[The Onion @TheOnion]

"I want to admit something: I’ve cried in my office every day for the last month." – @SpeakerBoehner http://t.co/RPmHTA8HmD

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

@JoanAllen get agent on the Elizabeth Warren biopic before @Claire Danes. #elizabethwarrenforpresident

[Robert Reich @RBReich]

The rich would do better with a smaller share of a rapidly-growing economy than a large share of one that's barely growing.

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

Imagine Polpot on The View.

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

If only Oprah had interviewed Hitler.

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

Got a picture of Salinger at the post office because I'm a douchebag. See the movie!

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

I'm so over the over-hyped JD Salinger mystery-thing. I'm going into hiding. #salinger

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

Did Charlie Rose ask him what his favorite summer movie was? #ThisIsTheEnd #WorldsEnd #Elysium #ass

[Bear Down @BearDownWest]

Looking forward to a new season of #beardownpodcast and a ham sandwich. Bear Down!!!

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

@johannastein (mothereffed) Discovered my daughter with one of those foam hands. Is it too late to talk about twerking?

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

Discovered my tween daughter has one of those foam hands in her room. Am I @mottoo late to talk about twerking?

[Dee Ryan @Dee_Ryan]

Harder to be a Hollywood star than a professional baseball player. Which is why I need you to buy these candy bars to support my team.

[Shanye North, Ph.D. @Juska701]

Watch @DavidKoechner and his friends get hit in the balls by cats for what seems like hours http://t.co/8MFF9brf1t" @L_J_HIGG @ldombovy