bpd at the disco

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[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

This user has been diagnosed with BPD, ADHD, depression, anxiety, & PTSD

Ppl with BPD are not monsters
Having BPD ≠ abuser
Ppl with BPD deserve love

This is a safe space for all Cluster B personality disorders
This is a safe space for ppl who struggle with mental illness

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Me with my underlying bpd:

[Lex @onlylex01]

attachment is not a joke. losing your favorite person can mentally destroy you.

[۟ @hi_rhea]

This is me 😭

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Crash outs being romanticized and normalized doesnt sit right with me bc wdym my bpd crash outs back in the day were frowned upon and I was called crazy and punished for them but now theres famous streamers who are known and glorified for their live crashouts?

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

I know my bpd is getting bad again when I start developing favorite person feelings again. I dont obsess over ppl unless my mental health is deteriorating

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

I convince myself everyone around me hates me and tolerates me and that I am a burden and I give myself this self fulfilling prophecy

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Got locked for someone reporting one of my posts from 2022. Nice

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Think my nervous system doesnt know what calm means so I subconsciously self sabatoge and put myself in situations where I can explain my overactive nervous system instead of just admitting im broken

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Kms is what I meant lol

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Why is it that my bpd tells me the only solution to my painful and extreme emotions is to kiss? Why cant it be get fit, go to the gym, eat healthy, read a book, paint, something logical and reasonable? Why are my emotions so painful to the point of feeling theres no way out?

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

What makes me most ashamed of my depression is not the pushing ppl away, lack of pleasure/joy, or not washing my hair for a week. Its the anger. The every inconvenience might send me over the edge feeling. I feel embarrassed that I cant regulate those emotions

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Somehow being excessively horny is the only thing keeping me from killing myself. Like how can I take my last breath while being this stupidly horny

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Is it my intuition or is it my ptsd giving me exceptional pattern recognition

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Sometimes i think about how i didnt have plans to make it this far in life so i always feel like i am on borrowed time

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Me going quiet and isolating for more than an hour is a bad sign that ive lost complete interest, I normally bounce back bc of my bpd

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

Feel like im contractually obligated to relapse bc of having bpd

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

I am suffering even in my good bpd days. The better the day, the worse the extreme is

[bpd at the disco @DeepHydrangeas]

You never loved me. You just loved the idea of someone being obsessed with you that you could easily control due to extreme fears of abandonment