"Out of 10 rape cases, 9 are just rape. 1 involves murder after rape. I think that one case is when right after the rape, the guy gets up and the girl says, 'Aren't you going to cuddle?' Then the guy stabs her."
— Strict action should be taken against comedian Madhur Virli.
Habits I stole from women with regulated nervous systems:
1. They don't respond to everything immediately. A text, a conflict, an email they let it sit. Not to be difficult. Because they know their first reaction is rarely their clearest one.
2. They have a "no" they don't negotiate on. One boundary that is non-flexible, non-debatable, non-discussed. Knowing exactly where your line is removes the exhausting decision fatigue of drawing it every single time.
……..
Delaying something you deeply care about stems from a hidden need for approval. You want it to be perfect. Perfect idea. Perfect outcome. Everything exactly how you imagined. You want certainty that when you finally put yourself out there, nobody will judge you. But life doesn’t work like that. People will judge. People will misunderstand. People will criticize even the things they could never create themselves. And some people will love it and worship it. Pay attention to neither. The praise and the criticism are both noise. Do it because it matters to you. Create from a place so honest that the outcome doesn’t control you. Do it because it's the expression of your being. And then... let it go.
You need to be attention-span-maxing.
Watch 3 hour talks. Read books for hours at a time. Watch the entire movie, without taking a break. Stare into space losing yourself in thought and imagination. Do not check your phone. The opposite of brain-rot is the will to focus in a culture which wants to pull you every other way.