LumberJack Joe

I'm LumberJack Joe of LumberJack Joe's Dear Piss and Sap Smell Goods and I'm using this tweeter to give you my tips, facts, and guidance to manhood.

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

Did an add with the good peoples of @LunchboxVoodoo, they have been known to tickle my "funny bone*"

*all my bones as strong as elder oak

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

"Well first, I shampoo. Then I condition. Then I use an herbal facial scrub with aloe and then" let me guess... you scrub your vagina? #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. I'll believe that crap when paper actually beats rock. #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

@Mike_Folarin first name Jack, last name Daniels. You can find him at any dive bar with his little brother Evan Williams and cousin fireball

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

If it involves the word "spa" you've failed your manhood. #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

This weeks Manly Woman Monday goes out to ufc champ @RondaRousey this woman can kick as and look good doing it. #MWM #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

"I don't know what to do, the mall closed at 9" The untamed wild is where real men are forged, and it's always open. #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

Man song of the day. "Cocaine Blues" By Johnny Cash http://t.co/SHoRJ8Zcb4

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

Date idea. Go to woods at sunset with jar of moonshine, drink moonshine with your lady folk. Use jar to collect fire flies. Your welcome#LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

You're a man. Your back pockets aren't supposed to be more fancy then the Vegas strip. #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

Oh, you like your steak well done? You want me to call your boyfriend to pick you up? #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

The beard. Though majestic, it doesn't immediately bring on manhood. I know plenty of people who use it to hide their secret vaginas #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

The "Lime-a-Rita" and all it's demon kin. NEVER has there been this much of an alcoholic threat to manhood. save the man, stop the Rita.#LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

#TBT goes to Abe Lincoln, great president, freed slave, and could kick your ass in a wrestling match. He was a man. #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

Every time a man takes a "selfie" the chances of his out-y becoming an in-y goes up 67% #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

Music is a wide subject, with many options and opinions. But one thing is certain in this world, Johnny Cash. #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

Pain is a signal to the brain, indicating you're in physical danger. A man has no fear of danger, thus there is no pain. Pain don't hurt#LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

Jack Daniels. A standard in manhood, and the taste of a mothers love. #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

When picking an alcohol, go for glass. Bar fights happen, don't let your weapon be a plastic bottle of Burnetts #LJJ

[LumberJack Joe @DeerPiss_Sap]

If your a man and like the song "let it go" then pass your man card to the front. If you mouth it out, that's a ten point deduction. #LJJ