Someone's Burner

The thoughts of someone who wants to express themselves freely but also want to keep their job

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

Can we please stop threatening people with guillotines? They're outdated & they give a relatively quick death. I'm proposing slowly lowering ppl into wood chippers. A much more modern approach and much more painful death for evil people. 🚫off with their head ☑️into the chipper

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

I really wanna smoke but I don't wait want to waste my therapist's time so I have to wait til after we have our meeting and we discuss how I smoke too much weed and then I can go smoke weed.

[Sarah Cooper @sarahcpr]

It’s true! I’m getting a Netflix special! And I couldn’t have done it without all your support, THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️

[Robert Reich @RBReich]

What would you give to watch Ted Cruz try to live off of a single $1,200 check for 4 months?

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

Yo @UberEats did y'all really just get rid of the $0 delivery fee options? Why?

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

Ayo @UberEats y'all are some trifling selfish bastards for moving the $0 delivery fee options to the bottom of the app. Selfish as fuck and I hope you all cut the bottom of your feet on glass

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

Ayyye nigga how about you shut your dumbass misinformed ass up and go back to making music that no one ever listened to. There are many flaws with the public schools, including the fact that they don't teach investing and proper cooking/diet, but everything else you said is a LIE

[ZUBY: @ZubyMusic]

The public school system will teach your children that gender is a social construct, communism is fine, and masculinity is pathological.

But they won't teach them how to start a business, invest, or take care of their health through diet and exercise.

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

@nikki_oOo Yes that's an elitist ass response, no I don't care about the optics

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

@nikki_oOo Lmaooo look at their account they're a worthless troll. You're wasting your time with this inhuman gerbil-brained excrement licker. Let her talk shit, I promise you she prolly didnt even get her bachelor's. She should shut up when educated folks is having complicated discussions

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

PUT JOHN LEWIS ON THE $50 BILL

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

YO @desusnice I NEED YOU TO STOP THE FENWAY SLANDER. ITS DEFINITELY ACCURATE BUT IT'S NOT HELPING WITH MY "I PROMISE YOU BOSTON ISN'T RACIST, IT'S JUST PAROCHIAL AF AND GOT WILD IGNORANT WHITE PEOPLE FROM THE BURBS" ARGUMENT. Please stop, I want my NYC friends to visit me one day

[Preet Bharara @PreetBharara]

There’s a bridge needs a new name

[Desus MF Nice💯 @desusnice]

this is my cousin sarah. any story i have about birmingham uk involved her. she taught me to run from the referee in fifa 94. she was very sweet & shy. she didn't deserve this. rip sarah.

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

@xai_trto @AwDrip Is he? Did he state that? Cuz from my perspective he's just dismissing an entire swath of hip-hop. Lauryn Hill made one of the greatest albums of all time. Rapsody got jams on jams on uplifting classics. Noname's album went hard AF. Shieet even Nicki got an album w/ v. lil skips

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

@xai_trto @AwDrip What was he tryna say? Cause it's fucking stupid and nonsensical

[R.O.C. @hardROClife]

The last jersey exchange on earth

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

@desusnice Lysol wipes cause I can sit on them and then flip em in Arizona in like 3 months they have 20,000 new COVID case each day for like $200k each

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

And1 mixtapes.....but for porn. I'm not sure how that'd work out, but I'm excited to see your ideas

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

I'm not saying that Susan Collins is a disgusting evil witch who will never truly be loved, I'm just saying that she fits Roald Dahl's description of a witch perfectly.

[Someone's Burner @DefABurnerAcct]

Girlfriend asked how much I bench and I told her I haven't benched in forever and I'm probably mad weak and I'd be surprised if I could do 175 x 8 right now. And she responded with 👀👀. Did my girlfriend just call me a bitch?