Sarah

90% of tweets predicted to be complaints to corporate accounts or updates about my ugly cat.

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

@le1lan1 Also parents in the Tamaki protest using strollers to collide with counter-protesters. Nothing says "protect children" like using them as a battering ram.

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

Haha @1NewsNZ included me speaking in their piece on the anti #PosieParker pro #TransRights protest today. Cropped out my sign.

Typical mainstream media, too PC to show a sign with the word "cunt" on it at 6pm... (/s)

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

Bonus pics with the high class walls (and Cat's blanket with her face on it)

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

@SarahMillican75 this is Fluffy McCatFace in her bedroom https://t.co/j3FZmr5nED I spent $60 on vinyl panelling and she prefers a Hello Fresh box with window holes...

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

Today is too stressful a day to be wearing #spanx this tight... #ApologiesToMyLowerHalf

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

@nashkiwi_al I draw the ceiling on the 5 if I'm writing slowly. If I'm writing quickly my ceiling gets too curved so I go back and add it in again

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

#ControversialOpinion - The Snowman Method is vastly superior to The Infinity Method when it comes to writing the number 8. #FiteMe

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

Visit House of Lashes for all of your false lash needs! https://t.co/nTGHlhOiQf

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

New hire test: Can U work the photocopier?

ie RU smart enough to figure shit out or do I gotta fix all the metaphorical paper jams for you?

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

I'm periodically surprised that Q isn't further down in the alphabet.

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

#LowKeyEvil - Manufacture a mid-range hole punch where the two holes are just sliiiightly too far apart.

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

Approaching crossings I always make eye contact w the train so it knows I've noticed it & won't step out & cause it to have to murder me...

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

Told someone I'd do something after lunch. Slowly, with pity in their eyes, they pointed out it was already 2.30pm...

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

Tonight's search for a slutty outfit was a bust. Unless really tight bike shorts are slutty, in which case I #nailedit

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

Feel compelled to accept offers of gum/mints 100% of the time just in case they were implying that I had bad breath...

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

@missgracenz I made drunk AF hot chocolate and just fuckin DOVE RIGHT IN there without even blowing on it. Sober me was NOT happy.

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

80% of my #superglue needs are related to gluing myself... #FuckOffHangnails

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

@JBHiFiNZ I get you're rocking this TackyCheap aesthetic, but does it have to come at the cost of a usable website? #Filtering #GoodSearches

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

TFW the foam at the top of the #coffee lulls you into a false sense of security, and then you hit the liquid and it's BURNING HOT

[Sarah @DeffsSarah]

Need to convince my boss that the insufficient colour range of highlighters in the office is a pressing issue...