Adam

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

They call me the French Shia because I’m the buff 💪

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

Me at Airport: Mr.SnifferDog sir I promise I washed my hands the soap was just unscented

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

@connordoman the baby isn’t dead just it’s just sucks so hard at skating the parents were embarrassed of their idiot baby

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

aardvarks bother me, imagine evolving to have a long ass nose just so you can suck up ants

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

nothing is more suspenseful then a egg being cut open on a cooking show

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

calmly slides the bank teller a note
“Do you like me yes or no”

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

@SalVulcano A root beer float is just a milkshake you were too lazy to blend

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

why the hell are werewolves always surprised by full moons, mf its been warning you for weeks

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

to be clear this is only a hunch

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

You don’t want a criminal lawyer, you want a single mother with something to prove

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

@samzydeco1989 @ZER012334932 @ThomasSowell the us has the highest per person healthcare cost in the world, atleast 5k higher then any other country with a universal system

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

I’m great at starting things but commitment is tough, I’ve been amish for 2 years but no one’s noticed because I’m real bad at it

[Corn ✧⍣ @cornski]

white ppl when the function got coleslaw

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

This emoji needs to chill 🫵points right at my deepest shame

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

I be fucking like a unmarried mormon

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

how does my professor expect me to focus when there’s absolutely zero subway surfers footy playing

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

Tracy Morgan and Hannibal Buress should be the new rick and morty

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

I’ve given away like 7$ this week and not even one of them were tiktokers trying to reward kindness, my generosity era is over

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

@connordoman lemme know when you get your quadriceps

[Adam @DelfinotheDon]

@DonnieDoesWorld @nickturani Two wonka references in one ep?? Exceptional work, just great