Shelby Auer

Follow me back, love meeting new people :) xo

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Who needs good grades when you got "Swag"!? *6 years later* Heres your fries sir

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

A subtweet will f*ck a guilty persons mind up!

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Damn Owl outside my window won't shutup... It keeps saying, "WHO?" ... I've said, "Mike Jones" like 50 damn times.

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

I love the sound you make when you shut the fuck up.

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

If I was stranded on a desert island and I could only bring 1 thing, I would bring Dora. That hoe has everything in that backpack.

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

#WeCantBeCoolIf Your ratchet.

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Slut: I love One Direction Nerd: Bitch you love it in all directions

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Wrap it in latex or she's gonna get your paychecks.

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

"Im not a Hoe." - Most Hoes

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Hey you....yeah you ....Keep your head up. God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Me: Babe, are you jealous? Her: No. Me: Are you sure? Her: Yes. Me: Kiss me. Her: GO KISS THAT BITCH WHO LIKED YOUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK!!!

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Listen bitch, don't ask for my opinion and get mad when I tell you the truth.

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Why name hurricane fag names. Name that shit Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggas be evacuating like they need to!

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Romney can't even name 3 ramen noodle flavors, he don't know the struggle.

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

#BackInMiddleSchool Teachers would act fake AF when the principal came in

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

#ReplaceMovieTitleWithRatchet Diary of a Mad Ratchet Woman

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

DORA: Having more freedom then teenagers since 2000.

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Walks in Subway : "I'd like a $5 dollar footlong"....."That'll be 7.55"....."Bitch what?

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Bitch I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply.

[Shelby Auer @Delossantosfpz]

Niggas search for Jordans , Foams & iPhone release dates harder than they search for a job !