George the Unicorny

Yea I'm a unicorn, deal with it.

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

Instead of "the john", I call my toilet "the jim" that way it sounds better when I say I'm going to the jim first thing every morning.

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?......it gets toad away.

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?....put it on my bill.

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?.....it's okay, he woke up.

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but it was okay because it was a soft drink...

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

@Chevy_Dan34 I just about ate the entire bag of Funyuns lol

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

Cleaned bae's room and did his laundry then he bought me food 😄😋

[𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓆏 @alienxconteh]

Apparently, Awkward and Faking It got cancelled. Someone please tell me this is fake.

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

@Chevy_Dan34 so clever

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

I respectfully decline the position of being a senior. Maybe I'll be ready in a few more years. Ha jk I'll never be ready. #dyinginside

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

@Chevy_Dan34 Why not

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

You’ll never believe who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor! Everybody!
#haha😂😭 #seriouslysomeonestopme
#lame

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now
#haha #stillnotfunny #someonejustloveme

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn’t get bacon seeds anywhere. #haha #lamejokes #someonestopme

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. # haha #lamejokes #notfunny #itried

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

@Chevy_Dan34 lame

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

@Chevy_Dan34 how does it feel to finally have a twitter?

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

There are 32 muscles inside a cat's ear.

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

My socks are cute. Thank god for that cause feet be gross. Who agree? #ewww #feetstank #sockies

[George the Unicorny @Derpy_Whaley]

I haven't seen any statuses about ninjas lately... Well played ninjas.