Derrick Balsom @DerrickBalsom - Twitter Profile

WTF! - Welcome to Florida! 😎 70 MPH speed limit in Florida is less of a rule and more of a polite suggestion that nobody agreed to follow. Too slow? You’re getting tailgated by a lifted Silverado with LED headlights bright enough to interrogate you. Too fast? Doesn’t matter, there’s already a guy in a beat up Altima doing 95 weaving through traffic like he’s late for something extremely illegal. You try to hold a respectable 75. Immediately passed on both sides. One car has no headlights. Another has its hazards on for no reason. Somehow both are going faster than you. And then, out of nowhere, Brake lights. Not gradual. Not polite. Just a full interstate wide decision to stop all traffic flow for 30 seconds. No accident. No construction. No explanation. Just vibes. You finally get moving again and think, "Okay, we’re good." Wrong. It starts to rain. Not normal rain. Florida rain. (IYKYK) The kind that erases the road, your mirrors, your sense of direction, and any belief you had in visibility. Wipers on max, still losing the fight. Meanwhile, someone flies past you doing 85 like they’ve got sonar. And just when you think you’ve seen it all, there’s a gator in a retention pond right next to the highway, watching traffic like it’s judging your driving choices. No toll booth warning. No buildup. Just vibes and consequences. Your GPS says "arrive in 2 hours." Florida says, "Depends, you surviving the storm or the drivers?" And somehow, through all of this … There is STILL someone camping in the left lane going exactly 70 like they’re honoring the Constitution. Welcome to Florida highways. Where speed limits are optional, weather is aggressive, and every drive feels like a group project with people who did not read the instructions.