Desiree M. Halter

Straight out of the trailer another crazy ass Cracker. if you haven't burned down a Waffle House & used a ball pit for a babysitter you haven't lived

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

If by the fight against Zika you mean swatting mosquitos with a bug zapping tennis racket while chucking MadDog then I am on the front lines

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Just slapping hoes and taking names. That’s what pimpin be

My titty hurts, from putting that second hoe in a headlock

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

@EvasTeslaSPlaid @nestasixmile

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

My butt itches

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Acupuncture is awesome, last night I put on an American flag bikini, drank a bottle of Ripple, and played slip and slide on my back with four porcupines. I feel fantastic! #Blessed #HomeHealthCare #PorcupineVIP #YOLO

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

When you dance for truckers at a truckstop they don’t throw beaded necklaces, they throw cans of SKOAL and dirty toupees. #BlessedYall #DirtySouth

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Holiday weekend, gonna have a fancy dinner at Waffle House with my pet skunk Dingus, and then drink Mad Dog 20/20 out of Champagne glasses. #YOLO #WaffleHouseVIP #Merica #BlessedYall

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Just crop dusted the room so bad the dog threw up. White Castle you are a shining beacon of hope in this crazy world…. #Blessed #RippinFartsInTheTrailerPark #WhiteCastleColonCleaner #DirtySouth4Life

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Mullets are back! Mullets are back! Please, mullets never went out of style here in the trailer park son. Recognize the greatness…. #TrailerTrendSetters #DirtySouth

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Last night was real. At one point I was jumping rope with a live rattlesnake, while doing body shots off the neighbors pet porcupine. Not recommend, but got free piercings. #BlessedYall #YOLO #WaffleHouseVIP #RippinFartsInTheTrailerPark

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Last night was real. At one point I was jumping rope with a live rattlesnake, while doing body shots off the neighbors pet porcupine. Not recommend, but got free piercings. #BlessedYall #YOLO #WaffleHouseVIP #RippinFartsInTheTrailerPark

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

E-TrailerParkerDatingServices set me up with a guy last night who was a monk, who had taken a vow of silence, but suffered from Tourette’s Syndrome. All he did was cuss me out, and hit me in the face with White Castle Sliders. #Blessed #DirtySouth

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

When you wake up in the trailer park duct taped backwards on a donkey, wearing a Sponge Bob costume, and the costume has more teeth than you, yeah you had a good night. #TrailerOlympics #DirtySouth #BlessedYall #IAmBack

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

@nestasixmile Really? It’s 5am? Go to bed!

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

I passed out last Thanksgiving and just woke up a year later. That was a true trailer park night. What the hell did you all do to 2020? I swear I am getting ready to drink some Mad Dog & start punching people. Where is my pet rattlesnake? I’m back y’all. #WaffleHouseVIP 🙌🏽🙌🏽

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Can’t wait till tomorrow, summer is over & my husband has to go back to work. Now I can go bet on the baby fights behind Big Lots & he’ll never know. Stocking up on Jack Daniels, Skoal Bandits & Slim Jims now #Blessed #UFCBabyStyleYall #WaffleHouseVIP #RippinFartsInTheTrailerPark

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

If crazy is riding a jet ski on Sunday, while wearing a tin foil bikini, chugging Jack Daniels, & throwing live rattlesnakes at swimmers, then I might be a crazy mofo. #BlessedYall #SundayFunday

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

@coltbarker Its a bad idea. Loo Loo down the street in my trailer park got one, and now she can’t get a single man with a long flowing mullet. Don’t be like Loo Loo. #TrailerParkLogic

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Just built this for the neighbors kids. #BlessedYall #TrailerParkLogic

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Found a video on my phone of me riding an ostrich backwards through the White Castle drive thru last night, carrying a bowling ball and a live rattlesnake. While wearing scuba gear and singing Wrecking Ball. Yeah I might have had too much to drink. #BlessedYall #WhiteCastleVIP

[Desiree M. Halter @DesireeMHalter]

Going tubing at Paoli Peaks. Bought snow pants with lots of pockets. Filled them with bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 & a live chicken. Going to stop half way down and have a picnic. #BlessedYall