evan roberts

He's talking big bucks, 200 dollars cash and 200 dollars in coupons to local businesses

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

#heartless #theweeknd

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

@idkcloudy Hey random question but where did you get the "very vanilla, non lifestyle friend" picture? Because I know the lady with curly hair 😂😂

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

They remade Mortal Kombat and Space Jam this year and they were both terrible, and ya'll wonder why I'm depressed. If they ever remake who framed Roger Rabbit I'm just gonna have to end it all

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

@lildickytweets how you gonna make me bust a tear duct 2 weeks in a row? Amazing ending to a great season

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

"Bro maybe you shouldn't do another dab"

"Why? I'm cool"

"Bro....you just took your shoes off so you could change your shirt"

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

I'm watermelon sugar high af rn lol

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

Got high and then thought someone was outside my window until I looked out and remembered I'm on the 2nd floor

[JOJI @sushitrash]

#NECTAR

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

@Olivertree Bro, oliver is the most entertaining person I've ever seen

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

My new place requires me to have a key just to get into the building and frankly I be getting to high for all that

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

People are so boujee with their weed nowadays they'll be like "omg you got your weed in a sandwich bag?!?!?! Omg you fucking bum"

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

Anytime someone asks "what's burning" when I'm at the kitchen at work, I always hit them with "the only thing that's burning in here in my passion for this job"

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

Real gangstas have kohls cash

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

I can't tell you how many times I've listened to this Oliver Tree album in the last week but it's still not enough

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

Need a lady in the streets and a lady who sits in her towel for 2 hours after a shower in the sheets.

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

People like "you got issues" I'm like nah bitch I got subscriptions, cause I get new issues every month i don't even remember signing up for

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

It's crazy to me that some people live every day of their life "for jesus christ" and I mostly smoke weed and play video games

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

Taylor swift dropped a new album aka bitches being ruthless is about to be at an all time high

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

From now on, all my bios will say "is not any of the white kids from superbad"

[evan roberts @Detective_Evan]

@_hannahburger @bacardiego_ @henryford76 I pray to god this is a parody