DeuceFive

Representative, @RealDailyMojo Asian Delegation. Stated views are my own. Good night, Doc Thompson. #WhatILearnedToday 🇺🇸🇵🇭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🇮🇪

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@NatlParkService Damn right the sun doesn’t play around. I learned that from Super Mario 3.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@SkylarSkye3 My personal favorites among national parks:

- Big Bend
- Olympic
- Denali
- Glacier Bay
- Virgin Islands

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@The_Best_Of_Men @NickJFreitas @SenFettermanPA @RealDeanCain To the best of my knowledge, Pennsylvania has closed primaries.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

#WhatILearnedToday

I think we all just need to take a break today and take a cue from Bard and just eat chocolate chip cookies all day.

[Brad Staggs - MoJoMaster @realBradStaggs]

I’ve decided I’m a stress eater. Nothing is as comforting as a chocolate chip cookie. #WhatILearnedToday

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

#WhatILearnedToday
@realBradStaggs @RealRonPhillips

Gearing up for the 4th here at the office of the Daily Mojo Asian Delegation.

[Iain Meiklejohn @meiklejohn21]

Home time. The USA have been fantastic hosts! We’ve loved the welcome from every city and state we’ve been in 🇺🇸

If you want to hate the world, watch the news. If you want to love the world, travel it. 🌎❤️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿✈️🇺🇸 #scotland #fifaworldcup

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@tweetzbyidil @C_m__9 Although there’s certainly the possibility that the manager’s version of events paints your coworker as the villain.

I’ve unfortunately seen that scenario play out more than a few times under somewhat similar circumstances.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@OldManHop @shaunvlog_ @FlanigansFL 100% this. Those friggin’ things are amazing.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@shaunvlog_ My go to order is a Philly cheesesteak omelet and hash browns smothered, covered, and chunked.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

EMERGENCY COMMUNIQUÉ FROM THE DAILY MOJO ASIAN DELEGATION

The Daily Mojo Asian Delegation was shocked, saddened, bewildered, mildly inconvenienced, and briefly distracted from lunch upon learning that the image of Uncle Ben was removed from Uncle Ben’s Rice without any consultation whatsoever with this esteemed diplomatic body.

Let the record show that no representative from the Delegation was contacted. No summit was convened. No ceremonial rice cooker was lit. No karaoke-based listening session was held. Not even an intern named Kevin was asked for his thoughts.

This omission constitutes a direct violation of Article 7, Section 11, Paragraph C of the Pan-Pacific Accord on Guys Who Appear on Food Packaging, ratified during a three-hour happy hour in 1987.

For decades, the Daily Mojo Asian Delegation has stood as the world’s leading authority on matters involving rice, noodles, fortune cookies, Godzilla, Bruce Lee movies, those little packets of silica gel that say DO NOT EAT, and anything sold in a box featuring a smiling person.

Yet somehow, corporate America decided it could alter the geopolitical landscape of rice representation without first seeking approval from a group whose headquarters is located between the vending machine and the men’s room.

This reckless action has destabilized the entire Mascot-Pacific region.

Reports indicate the Quaker Oats Guy has elevated his threat level to “Concerned.” The Sun-Maid Raisin Girl has been placed on alert status. The Monopoly Man has reportedly moved several assets offshore and cannot currently be reached for comment.

In response, the Delegation has authorized Operation Uncle Sensei, a comprehensive initiative that will include:

• A 14-month fact-finding mission to every Chinese buffet in America.

• The establishment of a Truth and Riceconciliation Commission.

• The immediate stockpiling of emergency jasmine rice reserves.

• The deployment of diplomatic envoys to investigate whether Cap’n Crunch is next.

• A strongly worded letter written entirely in Comic Sans.

The Delegation further rejects any suggestion that this controversy is unimportant. History teaches us that civilization itself rests upon three pillars:

Rice.
Product mascots.
The belief that everything was somehow better in 1983.

Should our concerns continue to be ignored, we are prepared to pursue additional measures, including but not limited to filing paperwork, creating committees, forming subcommittees to oversee those committees, and eventually forgetting what the original issue was.

The Daily Mojo Asian Delegation remains committed to finding a peaceful solution and asks the public to remain calm, avoid panic-buying rice, and remember our guiding principle:

“Twenty Bucks. Same As Downtown.”

END STATEMENT

“No rice decision about us, without us.” — Official Motto of the Daily Mojo Asian Delegation

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@tom_watson Sure - my heart bleeds for him. I’ll play a sad song on a tiny violin for Starmer this evening.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@FreddyLA7 @RockyRd_Patriot If you have time, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland is worth a visit.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@vonderleyen Sure. OK. If you say so.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@cagehead713 @markwalker5555 Very lucky - also got to see the midnight sun on the Norwegian Sea. I don’t remember the exact date, but I took this picture somewhere between Honningsvåg and Tromsø at around 12:15 am.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@cagehead713 @markwalker5555 I was lucky enough to stop at Honningsvåg with a visit to the North Cape, although I was especially fond of Tromsø.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

I was lucky enough to visit Norway last year on a cruise that originated in Rotterdam, so naturally lots of Dutch passengers, and they couldn’t have been nicer. The vast majority of those I spoke with were very polite and engaging including when conversations occasionally shifted to politics.

[Konstantin Kisin @KonstantinKisin]

It genuinely amused me that people think replacing Starmer will make things better.

From Boris Johnson's election onwards, we've been shuffling the bollards on the Titanic.

You have to actually change direction if you want to avoid crashing into the iceberg:

- End Net Zero
- Make business viable again
- Get welfare under control
- Fund defence
- Ensure equality under the law
- Arrest criminals and keep them in jail
- Deport illegal immigrants and close the border
- Bring the civil service to heel

Burnham will become as unpopular as Starmer within months since he isn't going to do any of that.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

Not happening. Frontier reps had a chance to assist my family over two years ago and chose instead to pass the buck, stall, and stick their thumbs up their asses during a very tragic time for us.

Whatever organization that has the worst documented customer service in the universe is still infinitely better than what Frontier could possibly offer.

[DeuceFive @DeuceFive25]

@EricLDaugh @marypatriott That’s a good man right there - a damn national treasure.