Lex

Somebody’s wife

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

Sorry to everyone waiting for my wedding to start right now— we had to make a TikTok.

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

I keep confusing these two books from the cover art and it’s very disconcerting

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

My junior high best friends went to see the Eras Tour in London as VIP but I’ve had to visit my high school (and current) best friend in an actual psych ward for the ✨immersive✨ TTPD experience so who’s the real winner here

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

@awalmartparking The admin we deserve

[lauren @lionsdaylight]

“you shouldn’t block people for their political views!” i will block someone if they hate evermore

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

My uncle asked me “why is Taylor Swift so snotty?” and as I took a big breath to prepare for my full-throated defense of her character, he followed it up with “she seems like she always has to blow her nose” and my lungs legitimately deflated like leaky balloons

[✨🌙SAILOR ❤️ MOONBLOOD🌙✨ @arhythmetric]

Nothing but respect for my Erryk and Arryk

[Elsa Williams @williamspidge]

You should be able to take your dad to an autism assessment for Father’s Day. A bit like how you’d treat your mother to a full body massage, or an afternoon tea

[Cemo ❤️‍🔥 @werentfunny]

taylor swift

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

@eeehh__ Oh my god just go to grad school for the love of god

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

I cannot. Escape. The legos.

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

Trapped in my own personal hell (Funtown at Legoland with all exits blocked for a parade and nowhere to hide with a lower decibel level)

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

The music. The small children. The fluorescence.

[Shafeeq @Y2SHAF]

Yeah Instagram is bad for our mental health but what about Outlook

[neon (unserious) @neon_heartbeat]

oh nooooo lord debling dont propose to me! a fate worse than death is marriage to a guy gone half the year who lets me do whatever i want and brings me cool plants! my true love match is with the guy who slept his way through greece and told everyone i suck

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

Two episodes of Bridgerton in and I’ve realized my real fantasy is telling my friend they’re being kind of a dick and they respond by seeking to ✨improve their behavior✨

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

Please call me I wanna pet her

[Myth @iamblackmyth]

This dragon attacks your city, who do you call first ?

[Lex @Deus_LexMachina]

Autism is incredible because sometimes your brain will deadass just be like “man spreadsheets would be even more efficient in 3 dimensions”

[𝗞𝗮𝗹𝗲⸆⸉ 🪩☁️ @cloverbloom_]

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me