Wrote this over the course of a couple days while on paternity leave. Usually in between diaper changes. Feel free to add to it in the comments.
https://t.co/rf5VA3W7q8
This is my dog’s friend, Quacky. If it looks like he’s giving me a dirty look, it’s because he is. The other day we all went out to eat and I left him with the bill.
A couple of my co-workers had Lebanese food for lunch yesterday. Today, one of them called in sick, the food perhaps playing a role. The other one, upon hearing this news, said, “I’m sorry to hear that he’s sick.” And then, after a brief pause, he added, “I falafel.”
*walks into hot yoga studio, begins seductive strip tease*
yoga instructor, appalled: what are you doing?
*semi-naked, looking up from ‘down dog’*: “not that type of hot yoga?”
Shoutout to the people who quietly go about their work everyday and maybe don’t receive the praise they deserve. Like my cousin’s pet turtle named Kevin.