Dylan

[Loky @lokymann]

there are four movies explaining what happens at night to the museums

[Perc 𒉭 @PercThaGoat]

“Lil Caesars good as fuck when you don’t got a bitch in yo ear saying it’s nasty” - a real mf.

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

I don’t want to connect my coffee machine to the wifi network. I don’t want to share the file with OneDrive. I don’t want to download an app to check my car’s fluid levels. I don’t want to scan a QR code to view the restaurant menu. I don’t want to let Google know my location before showing me the search results. I don’t want to include a Teams link on the calendar invite. I don’t want to pay 50 different monthly subscription fees for all my software. I don’t want to upgrade to TurboTax platinum plus audit protection. I don’t want to install the Webex plugin to join the meeting. I don’t want to share my car’s braking data with the actuaries at State Farm. I don’t want to text with your AI chatbot. I don’t want to download the Instagram app to look at your picture. I don’t want to type in my email address to view the content on your company’s website. I don’t want text messages with promo codes. I don’t want to leave your company a five-star Google review in exchange for the chance to win a $20 Starbucks gift card. I don’t want to join your exclusive community in the metaverse. I don’t want AI to help me write my comments on LinkedIn. I don’t even want to be on LinkedIn in the first place.

I just want to pay for a product one time (and only one time), know that it’s going to work flawlessly, press 0 to speak to an operator if I need help, and otherwise be left alone and treated with some small measure of human dignity, if that’s not too much to ask anymore.

[Wendigoon @Wendigoon8]

POV you work at a bar in Philadelphia rn

[miss chad @laurenposting]

FBI agents to mentally ill teenagers on discord:

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

The Kansas City Chiefs locker room before every Playoff game

[doomer @uncledoomer]

ketamine nose spray is gonna rip through gen Zers who dont have drivers licenses like crack in the 80s

[Joe Rogan @joerogan]

A HUGE HONOR! Thank you!

[Jaclyn, of liking Barriss fame @Jbandos]

Cars shouldn’t have touch screens they should have buttons and dials

[🦂THEE Auntie with no kids♏️ @prmade313raised]

SHAME!

[Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues]

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

[DraftKings @DraftKings]

“You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the Villain”

[will @twothickscoops]

White people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like

[Maybe: Papi Women Neglecter vol 5 @JuicegawdinPriv]

She want a nigga with Jaundice 😭