Dick Milkins SR

10 Year Navy Veteran (Crypto), Operational Technology, Dive, Sail, Fly. 🇺🇸🏴‍☠️

[Dick Milkins SR @DickMilkinsSR]

@kfc Because of changing consumer habits.

[Dick Milkins SR @DickMilkinsSR]

@tallover66 Bearded, I suppose. Whichever one people say is happy.

[Dick Milkins SR @DickMilkinsSR]

How happy is a clam?

[Mistress Dividend @mistressdivy]

I wanna see the CEO of Concur doing an expense report.

[Cyborg Pediatrician @CyborgPeds]

Virginia Class attack submarines

[Ian Miles Cheong @ianmiles]

Unconfirmed reports are coming in that IRGC’s naval vessels are getting their shit pushed in by the US Navy.

[Your Best Version @YourPrimePath]

If you are fat, get 0 calorie electrolytes and starve yourself for many days at a time.

This is actually fine, healthy even.

The only reason it’s considered taboo is because it works so well they can’t keep selling you stuff.

Because you’ll be in shape in like 2 months.

[VA Secretary Doug Collins @SecVetAffairs]

Effective immediately, VA is halting enforcement of the interim final rule, Evaluative Rating: Impact of Medication.

VA issued the rule to clarify existing policy and protect Veterans’ benefits in the wake of an ongoing court action. But many interpreted the rule as something that could result in adverse consequences.

While VA does not agree with the way this rule has been characterized, the department always takes Veterans’ concerns seriously. To alleviate these concerns, VA will continue to collect public comments regarding the rule, but it will not be enforced at any time in the future.

Under my leadership, VA is ensuring that everyone applying for benefits receives everything they have earned as quickly and conveniently as possible. This includes reducing the backlog of Veterans waiting for benefits by more than 60 percent. We will continue these improvements on behalf of America’s Veterans, families, caregivers and survivors.

[Jason Bacon @beerundbacon]

Great timing as we get ready for war with Iran. Don’t worry, if you get injured we will turn you into a zombie drug addict.

[Connor Boyack 📚 @cboyack]

https://t.co/4SMw7birVU

[Dick Milkins SR @DickMilkinsSR]

Anyone know how to become Amish?

[Dick Milkins SR @DickMilkinsSR]

That didn’t take long….Probably shouldn’t let these things access Reddit.

[Dick Milkins SR @DickMilkinsSR]

What in the holy hell?

[Retard Finder @IfindRetards]

@StephenKing You could just tell us who you saw there

[Dick Milkins SR @DickMilkinsSR]

Meteorologist <= Astrologist

[Paul Dans @PaulDans4SC]

Knocking on Heaven’s door! 🪽 Thanks for your support @TerriJohnson_SC ! 🇺🇸

For anyone that is interested in volunteering for our campaign, please sign up 👇 and help us spread the word! Together we will send Lindsey Graham packing!

https://t.co/yUrUhk7oDX

[Paul Dans @PaulDans4SC]

As U.S. Senator, I plan to spend weekends home in South Carolina, with family and my constituents.

My orders come from the People of South Carolina. I’ll never take direction from a foreign power over the affairs of the United States.

[Steve Ferguson @lsferguson]

Hey @LindseyGrahamSC! Why did you vote for 5.7 billion taxpayer dollars to be spent resettling "refugees"?

Inquiring minds want to know!

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last September I announced mandatory return-to-office.

Five days a week.

I called it a "culture-first initiative."

Culture means presence.

Presence means badge swipes.

Badge swipes mean metrics.

Metrics mean I can prove something to the board.

I don't know what.

But I can prove it.

The announcement went out on a Tuesday.

I sent it from my home office.

In Aspen.

I have an exemption.

"Strategic leaders require location flexibility to maintain global perspective."

I wrote that policy.

HR approved it.

HR approves everything I write.

By Wednesday, 340 employees had updated their LinkedIn status to "Open to Work."

I called it "natural attrition."

Natural attrition means they quit before I had to pay severance.

Very natural.

We lost 47 engineers in the first month.

I told the board it was "alignment correction."

The people who left weren't aligned.

With coming to an office.

That I also don't come to.

But that's different.

I'm strategic.

The office costs $4.2 million per year.

Empty, it was a write-off.

Now it's a "collaboration hub."

I measured collaboration.

Average daily Zoom calls from the office: 7.4 per employee.

They commute 45 minutes.

To take calls they could take from home.

But now they're "present."

Presence is culture.

I've never been more certain of anything.

A senior engineer asked why we couldn't stay remote.

She had metrics.

Productivity was up 23% during remote work.

I said, "Productivity isn't everything."

She asked what else mattered.

I said, "Serendipitous collisions."

She asked how we measure serendipitous collisions.

I said, "You can't. That's what makes them serendipitous."

She stopped asking questions.

Then she stopped showing up.

Then LinkedIn said she's at a company that's "remote-first."

Good luck with that.

They'll learn.

We installed badge tracking software.

It cost $380,000.

It tells me exactly when people arrive.

And when they leave.

And how long they spend in each zone.

I check it every morning.

From home.

The data is fascinating.

Average arrival time: 9:47 AM.

Average departure time: 4:12 PM.

I sent a Slack message.

"Core hours are 9 to 6."

Arrival times shifted to 9:02 AM.

Departure times shifted to 6:01 PM.

Productivity did not change.

But the metrics look better.

Metrics are culture.

We have a "hybrid" option now.

Three days in office.

Mandatory Monday. Mandatory Wednesday. Mandatory Friday.

That's called "hybrid."

Because Tuesday and Thursday are optional.

But there are "anchor meetings" on Tuesday and Thursday.

Attendance is "strongly encouraged."

"Strongly encouraged" means mandatory without the liability.

I learned that from legal.

The head of product asked if he could work from home when his wife had surgery.

I said, "Of course. Family comes first."

Then I said, "But let's revisit your Q4 performance targets."

He came to the office.

His wife understood.

I assume.

I didn't ask.

That's personal.

The CFO asked about ROI on the RTO policy.

I showed him the badge data.

"Presence is up 340%."

He asked if revenue was up.

I said, "Revenue is a lagging indicator."

He asked what the leading indicator was.

I said, "Badge swipes."

He nodded.

The lease renews next year.

Seven more years.

$29 million committed.

We needed bodies in the building.

Now we have bodies.

Fewer than before.

But present.

Morale is down.

Glassdoor says we're "hostile to work-life balance."

I told HR to respond.

They wrote, "We're a high-performance culture that values in-person collaboration."

That's corporate for "the review is accurate."

But it sounds like a rebuttal.

The CEO asked if RTO was working.

I said, "Absolutely."

He asked for evidence.

I showed him a photo of the office.

Full desks. Glowing monitors. Bodies in chairs.

He smiled.

"This is what culture looks like."

It looked like a stock photo.

Because I got it from a stock photo website.

The real office has 40% occupancy on a good day.

But he doesn't know that.

He's also remote.

We're both strategic.

Next quarter I'm proposing a "collaboration bonus."

$2,000 for anyone with 95% badge-in compliance.

The bonus costs less than the turnover.

And it shifts the narrative.

We're not forcing people to come in.

We're "incentivizing presence."

Incentivizing means paying people to do something they don't want to do.

It's different from mandating.

Legally.

The employees who stayed are "loyal."

Loyalty means they have mortgages.

And kids in school districts.

And RSUs that haven't vested.

They're not loyal.

They're trapped.

But on paper, it looks like loyalty.

And paper is what the board sees.

I've been doing this for 22 years.

I know what culture looks like.

It looks like butts in seats.

Butts in seats mean control.

Control means management.

Management means me.

RTO isn't about productivity.

It never was.

It's about seeing people.

So I know they exist.

So I know they're working.

So I know I'm in charge.

That's culture.

As long as the badge swipes go up and to the right.