Dictator Dan

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

Really wants to set up a wombat fighting league.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

Why arnt medical interns referred to as 'auxiliary organ incubators?'

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

I swear by the power of SCIENCE I shall end you.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

If marriage is two souls joining as one, can gingers get married?

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

If the US and Russia have red buttons to launch the missiles, does France have a white button to surrender?

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

If the United States annexes Canada, will it still be our hat?

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

The cartoon Smokey the Bear should be replaced with a real bear, with roid rage. It would be like 300x more effective.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

Lets put that bitch out. Bitches love putting out.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

On this day, 2 men kicked the moon in the FACE!

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

Monocles, the classiest way of saying 'Excuse me my good sir, but do you not comprehend how much better than you I am?'

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

If your date ever starts with the words 'Well, legally speaking...' leave, just leave...quickly.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

I wonder how much money Taco Bell spends to support legalized pot.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

Baseball would be a lot more interesting if the batter could take the bat with him around the bases.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

Chuck Norris cant die, Satan knows he'll have his ass kicked, and Thor stamped him with a 'No Return' sticker.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

Wants to go to a place that sells statues and put signs up that say 'Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead.'

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

I'm extremely serious, just look at how fancy my hat is.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

Cheez-It: You will never be so thirsty.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

I would totally worship a god, if he gave me nachos every time I prayed.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

Sean Connery vs Liam Neeson, one titan shall fall, another will hit max level + 1.

[Dictator Dan @DictatorDan]

All Voldemort wants is a nose.