DidJa Hear

A couple of jokes to brighten up your day...

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Before social networks I actually had a life.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Oh, you're 12 and your heart was broken? Tell me more about what Barney did to you.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Guy at the gym admiring yourself in the mirror. Everybody hates you!

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Always carry a flashlight so if someone locks you in their car turnk, you can entertain yourself with amazing shadow puppets!

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

What bounces and makes kids cry? My donation check to Children in Need.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Kurt Cobain killed himself one month after Justin Bieber was born.. He knew.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Oh, you don't like me? Please continue to make yourself think you're important to me.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they want to or not.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Oh, , your mom bought you the iPad 2 instead of the iPad 3? I can feel your pain

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Oh, so you've got a dirty, pirate, hooker mouth on Twitter? I'm sure your future employers will really appreciate that.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

I just got me one of them 'Stop Bullying' wristbands. Stole it off a little fat kid.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

I'm not afraid of commitment, as long as it doesn't last that long.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. - Woody Allen

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Oh, so you're going for a wedding? And you're wearing that?

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Oh, you have a $500 car and a $3500 sound system? Teach me how to properly budget and allocate my money like you do.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Oh, you dropped out of high school? Its alright, I'm sure you tried your best. Oh and please remember, I don't like onions on my Big Mac.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Oh, this is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

Sorry, I can't hangout. My uncle's cousin's sister in law's best friend's insurance agent's roommate's pet goldfish died. It was tragic.

[DidJa Hear @DidJaHearTheOne]

I hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone might kill you in the shower.