Didi Dieudonne

Soit cool, Be humble and dont give up
💪

[Roger Ledbetter @rledbetterCPA]

Teaching my daughter about payroll withholding

She did chores all week so I owe her $10

I hand her $7

> this isn't $10

"right, I withheld the rest"

> what does that mean

"I kept $3 of your money"

> but it's my money

"It was your money"

> what are you even doing with it?

"Funding household infrastructure"

> what

"The roof over your head. The hallway you walk through to get to the bathroom. The door locks that keep strangers out"

> you're charging me for the hallway

"I'm charging you for access to the hallway. The hallway itself was a capital expenditure"

> you're my dad. you're supposed to---

"I'm also your government"

> what if I don't want to pay for the hallway

"Then I can't guarantee the hallway"

> it's a hallway. It's already there

"For now"

She asks what else the $3 covers

"Meals, dispute resolution, nightlight maintenance"

> dispute resolution?

"When your brother takes your toys and I make him give them back. That's taxpayer funded"

> that's just parenting

"That's the Department of Justice"

> what about meals. You already feed me

"That's a social program. Not everyone qualifies"

> I'm your daughter

"Which is why you're currently enrolled"

She wants to see where the money goes

I tell her that would require a FOIA request

> what's that

"A form asking me to show you what I do with your money. Processing time is 6 to 8 weeks"

> 6 weeks to see where my $3 went?

"Could be longer. We're understaffed"

> there's two of you

She asks how she gets any of it back

"It's already spent"

> you spent my money already?

"We had a budget shortfall"

> you just took it 20 seconds ago

"And the deficit existed 30 seconds ago. The timing worked out"

> so I'm not getting it back

"I didn't say that. You might qualify for a refund"

> of my own money

"Correct. You just have to fill out a form telling me how much you made"

> you know how much I made. You paid me

"Right but I need you to tell me how much I paid you"

> so you already know the answer

"The point is compliance"

She asks what happens if she gets the number wrong

"Penalty"

> from the money I don't have because you already spent it?

"We could set up a payment plan"

> I'm 8

"Monthly installments. Very manageable"

> you're going to penalize me for getting wrong a number you already know and then make me pay you back with money you took from me

"Now you're getting it"

> I want to talk to mom

"Mom's not a qualified representative. She can't help you here"

She stormed off to her room saying how this is extortion

Slammed the door

That's my little citizen

I've never been more proud

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@XMonetization_ Hello 🤗

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@xevekiah I am a Dad of a 5 year old girl, I take her into the men's room, before opening the door, I announce and say " Dad with a 5 year old coming in, just so you know" then proceed into the stall and close the door.
Never have I had any challenge, instead I always get a " good man" 👌

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@KanwarSierah I thought that's what you've been advocating for? I thought that made you happy 🥱

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@AskKubeir Holy smokes I just received the ITA 🤸🤸🤸

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@AskKubeir That's awesome.
But how come I haven't been invited and yet I have more than 428? Seriously concerned 😦

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@elonmusk I am not an American but honestly (I speak for millions of Afrikans) how badly do we need the type of Musk and Vivek in our Akrikans countries? Just to cut the huge expenditures and corruption in our nations?
God only knows 😐

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@Bookten8 I will follow back immediately

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@Simeonnniya @Aniyonizigiye @DwimaEdwin @CdrickNiyo59452 Ayo mashure avuga ashaka kwiga none ntiyoza kuyigira mu Burundi Ga yemwe, Nimba Koko abukunda 🥱🥱

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@VivekGRamaswamy I am not from America, but Americans should/must protect this man at all cost.
💪

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@fanzeyimana Si vyoshika bigashirwa mu ngiro, nosaba ko wohamagarwa mu nama y'ubushikiranganji yo kuvyigira hamwe.
Such great insight!

Hama uyu muhinga wacu ingene avuza avanga amajwi (Tenor na Alto) biranyica.
Très doué vrm 👏

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@gabrieloguda Sifuna the 6th 👏👏🤣🤣🤣

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@AlphaLandRover This gives me chills 😍

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

Just beautiful 😍. Merci beaucoup Fabrice. Un ancre d'un poète ✍️

[Fabrice Nzeyimana @fanzeyimana]

Je réside près d'une école secondaire,
L'heure est 7h23, l'hymne national résonne...
"Burundi Bwacu", leurs voix en unisson,
Une chair de poule, chaque mot me transporte,
Dans une autre dimension, je m’évade dans mes pensées.
Ils chantent, réfléchissant, je m'égare,
Chaque phrase, en moi, fait son regard.
J'ouvre les fenêtres, les observe avec soin,
En noir et blanc, en rang, disciplinés, droits,
Leurs instructeurs attentifs, les yeux sur eux,
Une discipline totale, un spectacle précieux.

Même les oiseaux, en silence, se sont tus,
Rien ne bouge, hormis le drapeau suspendu,
Sous le vent du matin, sa cadence s'élance,
Avec une élégance, une gracieuse danse.

Ils achèvent leur chant, enchaînant sans faille,
Avec l'hymne de l'EAC, dont je ne connais les mots.
Un signe de mon manque d'intégration ou d'intérêt ?
Aujourd'hui, je méditerai sur cette union sacrée.

Il est 7h25, une chanson religieuse se fait entendre,
"Mwami Mana ndakuririmbira",
De tout mon être, alors s'élève un chant , que tu es grand.

Là, pour moi, je deviens comme un poisson dans l'eau,
Je chante avec eux, mais à distance, il est vrai,
7h31, ils pénètrent dans les classes, silencieux,
Je me demande ce qu'ils vont apprendre, curieux.

Peut-être la géographie, avec les histoires de la Toundra en première heure,
Ou bien la cordillère des Andes…
Peut-être la biologie et les invertébrés,
Ou encore l'histoire de la décolonisation de la Mongolie.

Quoi qu'il en soit, je leur souhaite bonne chance,
Espérant qu'ils rencontrent un professeur qui les enchante au delà de ces matières qui quelque fois peuvent porter à confusion
Je n'oublierai jamais mon professeur d'anglais, Patrick Bizindavyi,
Qui nous inspirait avec ses histoires, un homme si génial.

"Always be the first", nous disait-il avec passion,
Au-delà de la grammaire, il éveillait notre imagination.
Tout cela fait revivre en moi mes années passées,
Au Lycée du Saint-Esprit, tant de souvenirs si précieux .

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@gabrieloguda ..and wanted to beat a photo with you..🤣🤣

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@TuckerCarlson Wow, this man Viktor Orban 👏👏.
Hungary is just lucky to have him.

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@DCI_Kenya Oyaa! Kindly assist.
Tumengoja sana jameni 🤦🤦

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@DCI_Kenya Oyaa kindly assist.
I have been waiting for more than 2 months, no communication whatsoever 🤦🤦

[Didi Dieudonne @Didigahu]

@gabrieloguda I just love this Oguda 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Gabriel Oguda @gabrieloguda]

SINCE YOU'RE ALL ASKING QUESTIONS ON THE NEW UNIVERSITY FUNDING MODEL

LET ME DO FOR YOU THE LORD'S WORK.

1. All KCSE 2022 students who scored C+ (plus) and above qualify to apply for a degree course, at a university of their choice.

2. The application requires that you log into The Kenya Universities and Colleges Central Placement Service (KUCCPS) online portal. You will find all the degree courses categorized according to the universities offering them, alongside their respective tuition fees, PER ACADEMIC YEAR.

3. FOR EXAMPLE, those who will qualify to study BACHELOR OF MEDICINE & SURGERY at KENYATTA UNIVERSITY will be required to pay Ksh612,000 per year.

4. The Government of Kenya will offer FULL SCHOLARSHIP to ONLY 45,000 university students this year. You will only qualify for full scholarship if you can demonstrate that you're EXTREMELY NEEDY AND VULNERABLE. The Ministry says they have a targeting tool (sort of a Poverty Questionnaire) that will help them to identify the 45,000.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE TERMS: EXTREMELY NEEDY AND GOVERNMENT SCHOLARSHIP.

They're yet to share with the public the poverty indicators they shall use, but if we now know that if you went to a PRIVATE PUBLIC OR SECONDARY SCHOOL count yourself out of GOVERNMENT SCHOLARSHIP, my friend.

5. A total of 173,127 KCSE 2022 students scored C+ (plus) and above. If you subtract the 45,000 that will receive full Gov't scholarship, you remain with 128,127 students who shall fight it out for the next level of graduated funding, as follows:

6. The Ministry says that students from NEEDY HOUSEHOLDS joining universities will receive GOVERNMENT SCHOLARSHIPS of up to a maximum of 53% and loans of up to 40%. The remaining 07% will be footed by YOUR FAMILY.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE TERMS: NEEDY HOUSEHOLDS AND GOVERNMENT SCHOLARSHIP.

7. Let's assume you come from a needy household and have been admitted to study BACHELOR OF MEDICINE & SURGERY at KENYATTA UNIVERSITY.

7a. The total amount of money you will be required to pay per year is Ksh612,000.

7b. If the Gov't, through their poverty questionnaire, finds you eligible for Gov't scholarship, you will only receive UP TO 53% Scholarship. Which means, on the higher side, Ksh324,000 of your Ksh612,000 tuition will be taken care of by the Gov't.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE TERM: UP TO. Again, we haven't seen the poverty matrix to be used to establish the percentage of Gov't scholarship you will receive. It might be 0.1% or 19% or the 53% upper limit.

POLITE REMINDER: Please pray first before applying for the Gov't Scholarship. The President says your chances will increase ten-fold if you pray before opening the application form.

7c. Now, assuming you received the UPPER LIMIT of 53% GOV'T SCHOLARSHIP, you will then head to the Higher Education Loans Board (HELB) offices to apply for a LOAN of UP TO 40% of the Ksh612,000. I repeat.

AGAIN, PLEASE, TAKE NOTE OF THE TERM: UP TO. This means while you will ask HELB to please loan you 40% of Ksh612,000 for your tuition, HELB will not be obligated to give you the full amount. They will also use their own poverty matrix to award you the loan. It might be 0.1% or 3% or the 40% upper limit.

POLITE REMINDER: Please pray first before applying for the HELB loan. The President says your chances will increase ten-fold if you pray before opening the application form.

7d. Assuming your prayers work and you receive the 53% GOV'T SCHOLARSHIP and the 40% HELB LOAN, you will still be required to organize a Harambee back in your village to raise the remaining 7% of the tuition fees, every year.

I have done this breakdown on this notebook of mine which I bought with my own guava money.

PLEASE NOTE: THERE WILL BE NO GOVERNMENT SCHOLARSHIP OF ANY KIND FOR THOSE WHO SHALL APPLY TO JOIN PRIVATE UNIVERSITIES. BUT YOU WILL BE FREE TO APPLY FOR HELB LOAN.

I hope I have done the Lord's work.