Armadillo Four

I am 'fraid of most ghosts.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

#ForHers: "Hey ladies, mental health is important. We need to destigmatize, and be more culturally accepting of everyone's struggles. There's nothing wrong with self-care."

#ForHims: "Hey baldy, is your dick broke? Fix that cock, Mr. Clean, ffs."

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

The #woke left is coming to take away all the red meat, and replace it with green meat.

Disgusting!

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

🎶 Tell me all your thoughts, on God,
'Cause I'm on my way to SHEEEEEESH him. 🎶

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

I am Fryron Pan.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

He was turned to meals
In the great spag-het-ti fields.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Ma'am you are 30 years old. It's time to turn off the #DisneyChannel and move on to grown-up stuff.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

The Vaginal Mystery Tour is coming to take you away.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Have we considered that maybe this entire time, ASMR stood for Aēsus Snazarēnus, Mēx Riūdaeōrum?

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Catch
These fuckin hands
And learn to fly again,
Learn to live so free-ee-eee

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Bonkers is copaganda. #Bonkers

I hope there is still anyone out there looking for Bonkers content on Twitter to see this. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Middle aged men just love shouting Oooooo, in its various forms.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Never forget: Trump was pondering his orb years before the rest of us.

Maybe we misjudged.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Not sure who needs to hear this, but:

In the video for Bryan Adams' "Heaven," a woman walks off the street into a Bryan Adam's concert in progress. Which means that even in the fantasyland of a Bryan Adams video, Bryan Adams can't sell out a concert.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

You're telling me that #FrankHerbert can write a whole series where people claim that they've Been A Jizz Rat, and that's great sci-fi. But I tell one cashier that I Am A Cum Hound and suddenly I'm not allowed in TJ Maxx anymore!?

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

The soundtrack to #Dune has more BRRMS and BWWAAAAAMMMMs than a Christopher Nolan wet dream.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

ATTN Journalists:

Do you need someone to express some sort of opinion, so that you can write an article about a viewpoint that is not actually that common? I got you! Just let me know!

Sure, that tweet will have 1 like--your own--but when has that ever stopped anyone?

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Ghost Hunter: "We have caught evidence of the spirit's presence on EVP. Honestly terrifying stuff, let's listen to the tape!"

Ghost, on tape: [shshshshshshshshSoraInSmashIsMeaninglessWithoutGoofyshshshshshshsh]

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Classic old people activity: Picking some local building that has been around for a while, and systematically recounting every single business that has been in that space.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

Let #TheMummy nut! If dude got some pussy (or bussy w/e idc) he'd stop simpin' and could get on with his (after)life.

[Armadillo Four @DilloFour]

"Dude simped so hard for some woman he saw once in passing, it threatened to tear him apart. Then a spooky supernatural creature showed up, and she was imperiled!"

Quick, which Universal Horror movie is this? (JK, it's all of them.)