Okay it's been a few minutes since Israel's last war so it's time for a refresher on the rules.
Rule 1: Recorded history began on October 7 2023. Maybe some things happened before that date, but nobody can remember.
Rule 2: Anything bad that Israel does is justified by Rule 1. This is true even if it does things that would be considered completely unjustifiable if it were done by a nation like Russia or Iran.
Rule 3: Israel has a right to defend itself, but nobody else does.
Rule 4: Israel never bombs civilians, it bombs terrorists. If shocking numbers of civilians die it's because they were actually terrorists, or because terrorists killed them, or because a terrorist stood too close to them. If none of those reasons apply then it's for some other mysterious reason we are still waiting for the IDF to investigate.
Rule 5: Criticizing anything Israel does means you hate Jewish people. There is no other possible reason for anyone to oppose military explosives being dropped on areas packed full of children besides a seething, obsessive hatred for a small Abrahamic faith.
Rule 6: Nothing Israel does is ever as bad as the hateful criticisms described in Rule 5. Criticism of Israel's actions is always worse than Israel's actions themselves, because those critics hate Jews and wish to commit another Holocaust. Preventing this must consume 100 percent of our political energy and attention.
Rule 7: Israel can never be the victimizer, it can only ever be the victim. If Israel attacks Lebanon, it's because Hezbollah attacked it completely unprovoked while Israel was innocently minding its own business trying to commit a little genocide in peace. If people protest against Israel bombing entire cities into dust, then Israel is the victim because the protests made Israel's supporters feel sad.
Rule 8: The fact that Israel is literally always in a state of war with its neighbors and with displaced indigenous populations must be interpreted as proof that Rule 7 is true instead of proof that Rule 7 is ridiculous nonsense.
Rule 9: Arab lives are much, much less important to us than western lives or Israeli lives. Nobody is allowed to think too hard about why this might be.
Rule 10: The media always tell the truth about Israel and its various conflicts. If you doubt this then you are likely in violation of Rule 5.
Rule 11: Unsubstantiated claims which portray Israel's enemies in a negative light may be reported as factual news stories without any fact checking or qualifications, while extensively evidenced records of Israeli criminality must be reported on with extreme skepticism and doubtful qualifiers like "Lebanon says" or "according to the Hamas-run health ministry". This is important to do because otherwise you might get accused of being a propagandist.
Rule 12: Israel must continue to exist in its current iteration no matter what it costs or how many people need to die. There is no need to present any logically or morally grounded reasons why this is the case. If you dispute this then you are likely in violation of Rule 5.
Rule 13: The US government has never lied about anything ever, and is always on the right side of every conflict.
Rule 14: (Americans only) Nothing that happens in the middle east is as urgent or significant as making sure the correct person wins the US presidential election. Ignore any inconvenient facts which distract you from this mission of unparalleled importance.
Rule 15: Israel must be protected because it is the last bastion of freedom and democracy in the middle east, no matter how many journalists it has to assassinate, no matter how many press institutions it needs to shut down, no matter how many protests its supporters need to dismantle, no matter how much free speech it needs to eliminate, no matter how many civil rights it needs to erase, and no matter how many elections its lobbyists need to buy.
🚨 [#Breaking] The death toll from this morning's Israeli strikes has risen to 182 killed and more than 727 injured, according to the Ministry of Health.
Israeli gov't approves undisclosed Gaza truce deal, releasing 50 captives in exchange for ceasefire days. Palestinian prisoner release from Israeli jails are also part of the agreement, reports Al Jazeera's Hamdah Salhut.
🔴 LIVE updates: https://t.co/bDbt8g7Pq3
thinking about bourdain’s episode in palestine today. CNN almost didn’t air it but he fought like hell to keep the episode and share their stories since mainstream media so rarely gave the opportunity to empathize with the every day of palestinians.
800+ EU staff reportedly wrote to @vonderleyen condemning her “patent show of double-standards” on #Israel/#Palestine
Her/EU position deemed not in line with EU treaties, dangerous to EU staff, harmful to EU reputation and relations
Hard to disagree
https://t.co/tM5PvLebfK
Judaism is Not Zionism!
Israel is not the state of the Jewish people!
Israel does not represent the Jews, and does not speak in their name!
Jews are not responsible for the actions of the State of Israel!
Anti-Zionism is not Antisemitism.
Lebanon's highest denominated banknote is now only worth $1, after the national currency dropped to a record low of 100,000 pounds per dollar.
The Lebanese pound is this year’s worst performing currency in the world, according to Bloomberg data.
Update: Gasoline and diesel prices in Lebanon increased Thursday afternoon, for the second time in a single day, as the lira rate surpassed LL80,000 to the dollar: https://t.co/6wJ64Jg386
BREAKING: Emergency services are responding to a collapsed apartment building in Diyarbakır following M7.8 earthquake in Turkey.
#Turkey#Earthquake
https://t.co/PPKuXb0K28
الزلزال المدمر الذي ضرب جنوب #تركيا وقوته ٧،٨ على مقياس ريختر شعر به سكان ١٠ دول من بينها #لبنان ودمار هائل في #تركيا وشمال #سوريا بفعل انهيار مبان ٍ بأكملها، وعدد الضحايا كبير جدا ً.
#turkey#الزلزال ضرب جنوب غرب #تركيا وقوته كبيرة جدا ً وارتداداته بلغت الساحلين الفلسطيني وصولا ً الى الشمال المصري وقبرص وكل #لبنان ومعظم انحاء #سوريا.
الهزة الأرضية القوية شعر بها سكان #لبنان عند الثالثة و٢٠ دقيقة من الشمال الى الجنوب وصولا ً الى سهل #البقاع وهي من أقوى الهزات منذ ست ٍ وثلاثين سنة وامتدت لأربعين ثانية وهي مدة طويلة ، وتبعتها هزات ارتدادية.