Dino Spimoni

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

@DomBrascia I’m so grateful this fat fuck is finally dead. Hope Brascia is burning in hell.

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

I could never spend NYE in Times Square. If I’m shitting my pants waiting for the ball to drop, I’m doing it from the comfort of my couch. #NewYear2025 #TimesSquare #HappyNewYear #CountdownCTW2025 #NewYear

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

Justin Timberlake: “When do you see me getting my license back?”

His attorney:

Justin:

Attorney: “It’s gonna be May.”
@jtimberlake #JustinTimberlake #funny #hollywood #news #music

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

Everyone: “Look! The solar eclipse is starting!”

*sun morphs into baby from Teletubbies*

Everyone: “OH HELL NAW.”
#SolarEclipse

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

Here’s a little poem I wrote called “Fuck.”

Fuck @Nickelodeon,
Fuck Brian Peck,
Fuck Dan Schneider,
Who the fuck is next?

#Nickelodeon #DanSchneider #QuietOnSet #BrianPeck #DrakeBell #Hollywood #fuck

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

Sex is the only time Gordon Ramsey finishes something raw. #gordonramsey

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

I hope I’m not spoiling the new Barbie movie for anyone but her head gets ripped off by a toddler at the end. #Barbie

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

You know you’re getting older when you start wearing shorts above the kneecaps. #adulthood

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

A good sub would’ve had a safe word. #Titan #submarinemissing #titanicsub

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

Some of the best glory holes in America are at those rest stops. I take that back, #Delaware is pretty cool.

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

Nobody driving through #Delaware ever stops to visit Delaware. If they do, they’re taking a shit in a rest area.

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

**FastX Spoiler Alert**

Vin Diesel drives really fast in it. #FASTX #VinDiesel

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

Was Chris Tucker cheering for the Miami Heat at the NBA finals? I couldn’t understand a word that was coming out of his mouth. @christuckerreal @MiamiHEAT #ChrisTucker #NBA #MiamiHeat

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

New Jersey: “This wildfire smoke is getting out of hand.”

New York: “Since when do you care about air quality?” #AirQuality #CanadaFires #WildfireSmoke #wildfires

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

Me: “Can I get an iced coffee with cream and sugar?”

Dunkin employee: “What size?”

Me: “About six inches.”

Employee:

Me:
#dunkindunots #coffee

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

I’m hung like a stem cell.

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

They didn’t have to show the clip of Paul “touching” that girl’s tushy. It was clearly an accident. People can lose their job over shit like this. #LOVEISBLINDreunion #LoveIsBlindLIVE

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

I can’t believe I cancelled my circumcision for this #LOVEISBLINDreunion #LoveIsBlindS4 #LoveIsBlindLIVE

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

It took me less time to find the G-spot #LOVEISBLINDreunion #LoveIsBlindLIVE

[Dino Spimoni @DinoSpimoni1]

By the time this show loads, they’ll all be divorced. #LOVEISBLINDreunion #LoveIsBlindLIVE