Dick Batchelder, Jr.

Author of The Disaster Plan and Confessions of an Unknown serial killer. currently working on Project 01915. seeking representation.

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

👇”

I just published Soccer…Seriously? A Massachusetts Man’s Open Letter to the Beautiful Game https://t.co/FlDmeazQSj

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

Hot take that is actually a cold fact: there is a RIGHT was to hang toilet paper. There has ALWAYS been a right way. The 1891 patent proves it. I wrote 3,000 words about this. You're welcome

https://t.co/A0iDbhgcmL

#ToiletPaperDebate #OverNotUnder #Humor

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

I've spent decades writing serious fiction. Today I file a legal brief against cats

Eight exhibits. One proposed Statute. Zero apologies
https://t.co/wtFbSwxnTu
#DogsVsCats #Satire #CatsShouldBeIllegal

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

"Where Have All The Rivalries Gone?"
Beverly vs. Salem 133 years of Thanksgiving football. One 9-iron. Sixty-seven kids detained for eggs
A confession and a question about loss
Not from Beverly, no problem if you have a rival you will recognize the feeling
https://t.co/wmhF9YwzJj

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

Tom Clancy spent pages in The Sum of All Fears describing the microsecond physics of a nuclear bomb going off. I always thought that was the greatest technical writing ever done. So I tried it for a home run instead.
https://t.co/lILuWP1gRZ

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

Working on essay about the greatest tradition in North Shore sports - and what it means that 15,000 fans became 3,000. Beverly vs. Salem. 130 years. One Thanksgiving game. coming soon to https://t.co/fkNpor5j5f & https://t.co/FVr4fVKPWN

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

New Essay: What happens in the 0.001 seconds when bat meets ball? Everything. I slowed it down, millisecond by millisecond, the way Tom Clancy slowed down a nuclear detonation. Physics, baseball, and one perfect home run.
https://t.co/lILuWP1gRZ
#baseball #physics #writing

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

28-3. Falcons had it. Anyone else would have quit. Patriots fans didn't even leave the couch. Greatest Super Bowl comeback in history. Tom Brady doesn't do impossible, he does inevitable. Essay: https://t.co/kx7nGfy1QA
#Patriots #TomBrady #NFL

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

4/12 LUCAS vs. Shahed-136: Same delta wing design * Same $35,000 price point * Quieter engine (harder to detect) * Starlink connectivity (Shahed has none) * Swarm AI coordination (Shahed has none) * Sea-launchable from Navy ships.

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

Tweet 1/12: America captured Iran's deadliest drone. Took it apart piece by piece and rebuilt it with better tech. And flew it directly into Iranian targets. This is the story of the LUCAS drone. https://t.co/B7PfhgGk8x

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

New essay. The science of closing time mathematics: why a 10 PM rating of "2" becomes a 2 AM rating of "10." Spoiler: science doesn't cover you in glory. Read it before last call.
https://t.co/YKCKsm28Pg

#DatingHumor #Satire

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

In March, my mind always drifts back to Kevin McNiff. We grew up together in Beverly, MA. He was the funniest kid I ever knew. He was killed on KAL Flight 007 on September 1, 1983. He was 28. I finally wrote it down.
https://t.co/xeSaT3VVft
#RememberingKevin #KAL007

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

Tweet 3/12 A senior U.S. official confirmed it. "The U.S. military got hold of an Iranian Shahed. We took a look and reversed-engineered it. The LUCAS drone is the product of that effort." And then they made it better.
https://t.co/B7PfhgGk8x

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

Tweet 2/12
The Shahed-136 is Iran's "kamikaze drone" - a one-way attack weapon. Foam and plywood body. Moped engine. $35,000 a copy. Russia used thousands of them in Ukraine. America picked up the pieces. Literally.

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

"They call us 'the great unwashed.' Construction workers, teachers, blue-collar folks. We wear that badge with honor. We're the real fans."
https://t.co/ceGnMq1Ksj

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

Down 3-0 in the ALCS. Never been done before. New York thought it was over. It wasn't over. and it will never be over. 2004 changed baseball history - and broke something in Yankees fans that never fully healed. Read: https://t.co/kx7nGfy1QA
#RedSox #ALCS2004 #Yankees #MLB

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

Boston: 13 Championships since 2000. New York teams combined: 4. The math isn't hard, it's painful if you're wearing pinstripes. Full breakdown https://t.co/kx7nGfy1QA
#BostonSports #Patriots #RedSox #NYvsBoston

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

"In Boston, we call fair-weather fans 'Pink Hats.' They show up when we're winning, disappear when times are tough. They're fans through thick and thick."
https://t.co/ceGnMq1Ksj

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

I just published How American Sports Lost Its Soul to the Skyboxes https://t.co/LsL5JVT6l4

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

America captured Iran's deadliest kamikaze drone, took it apart, built a better version - and shot it back at Tehran. The full story of the LUCAS drone: specs, cost, damage, and what it means for the future of war. https://t.co/bVMBO3XIiQ

[Dick Batchelder, Jr. @DisasterPlanBok]

https://t.co/bVMBO3XIiQ