Divergence Line

Curated for dark theme. Some posts are art, others are not. Turbo-weeb. Maid enthusiast.

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

@Velkyen "Heh, see that? Yeah, I can't believe it's not butter either."

[redrum @griffisu]

i hate when a girl tries using a manipulation tactic you learned 6 bpd girls ago

[turbomander @turbomander]

hate it when wenches protest “DONT BLOW YOUR PIPE SMOKE ALL OVER MY BABY”. first of all it’s not smoke it’s a gnomish runevape and it’s like arcane vapor or some other shit, plus the scholars of the realm don’t even know the ramifications of its hazards yet. mf fool

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

I liquidated my entire 401K yesterday morning.

The financial advisor on the phone begged me to reconsider.

He used words like tax penalty and catastrophic compound interest loss.

I told him fiat currency is a collective hallucination.

I took the $85K and drove straight to a commercial restaurant supply warehouse.

I bought exactly 12,000 pounds of iodized table salt.

It took 4 trips in a rented moving truck to transport it to my basement.

Historically, salt was used to pay Roman soldiers.

When the central banking system collapses next Tuesday, I'll be the wealthiest warlord in the tri-state area.

My basement is currently a massive, white, moisture-absorbing desert.

I have to wear protective eyewear just to do laundry.

My neighbor asked why I was carrying 50-pound bags of sodium into my house for 9 straight hours.

I told him I'm curing meats.

I'm not curing meats.

I'm hoarding the currency of the apocalypse.

He'll be begging me for seasoning by November.

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Attending a 5-year-old's birthday party requires the tactical precision of a covert operative.

The invitation said the event was a casual gathering from 2 PM to 4 PM.

There's nothing casual about 15 screaming children hyped on buttercream frosting.

I arrived at exactly 2:03 PM and established a perimeter near the bounce house.

My objective was simple, ensure my son secured exactly 2 pieces of pizza and sustained 0 injuries.

Another parent tried to engage me in small talk about local property taxes.

I deployed a smoke screen by pointing at a random child and yelling that someone was double-dipping their carrot stick in the ranch.

In the ensuing chaos, I extracted my son from the ball pit.

We successfully breached the exit at 3:14 PM with a plastic goody bag containing 3 temporary tattoos and a choking hazard.

I debriefed him in the minivan.

We're never socializing again.

I'm sorry son.

[Maw @TheEbonyMaw]

Customer from a different department sends me a form requesting new equipment.

The form is vague, so I email her requesting clarification.

She sends me an encrypted email.

I tell her I’m sorry, but my org box can’t open encrypted emails. Could you please send it unencrypted?

Days go by. No response.

I send her a second email.

She once again replies with an encrypted email.

This isn’t working. I find her on Teams & message her.

She replies, “yes this is a new work request.”

I say, “Yes, but what do you mean? Are you looking to get the new equipment by [X], or by [Y], or by another option?

She replies, “Yes sir.”

“Yes to which one?” I ask.

“Our department needs the new equipment.”

….

“Okay,” I say, “but I need to know HOW you want to go about it. Do you want
1. [X] method
2. [Y] method
or
3. Another option I haven’t mentioned?”

Her: [Goes offline]

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

@PKPatchworks Steak too juicy, lobster too buttery, etc etc

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

@DoubleBisko @Violet_Okami Biko don't look close your eyes

[lawyur @yeeldfarm]

girls mysterious sources of income:
- sugar daddy
- daddy
- OF

boys mysterious sources of income:
- cryptocurrency
- shrimp farming
- 黑暗深渊

[Nebitz Blikes @NBlikes43312]

@FromKulak This is hilarious, but I have been thinking of late. It's not enough to hate HR professionals. We have to make the field toxic . Like make them feel ashamed and reviled when they mention that's what they do for a living, like a truck stop prostitute

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

Examining my weak and absurd body in a full length mirror, on the verge of tears and totally aghast at the horror of human existence, whispering in a trembling voice, “Fuck it let’s get this fuckin money lets go”

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

@Humi_Femboy "We would wear woven microplastic skins, as was the fashion at the time-"

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

A modern day Odysseus.

[𝖒𝖔𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖌 @wanted4mogging]

day 4 of trying to get an aristocratic micropenis

a long arduous day has only strengthened my resolve and calloused my heart as i, after having been forced to walk from my gated suburb into the wretched downtown of the city i live in, have arrived at the hostel or, as i have quickly come to know it as: the longhouse

upon my journey i encountered many perils, such as junkies trying to get their hands on my coke stash, or a police officer asking what a young man like me is doing wandering the back alleys of the town during school hours, while his K9 was unnervingly interested in my back pocket. thankfully with the vitality radiating from my aryan spirit after a primal breakfast of roadside pro-microbial sun-dried possum none of these obstacles were able to stop me from arriving at my destination

upon arrival i unpack my bags and i am faced with my first hostile encounter; a wretched succubus, perhaps between the ages of 17 and 32 tries to tempt me into sexual arousal. she begins interrogating me with questions such as what is my name, if i'm from around here, what would i be doing here, am i romantically involved with anyone?

this elementary yet ruthless attempt by her to strike my libido into action was countered only by a hero dose of stimulants rendering my penis completely numb, allowing me to direct my vitality towards closed-fist knocking her right across the chin for daring to try and making me succumb to such low instincts. perhaps if she had resembled a tastefully androgynous a-cup aristocratic roman towel boy with an eating disorder i'd have considered a brief deviation from my path but there was no subtlety to this woman and, as such no hesitation in my hyperviolence in response

i am currently hiding behind a McDonald's while the police search for me, and unfortunately i was not able to take with me my stack of supplements and am regrettably sporting a vulgar raging erection as i think about the look on her face upon collision with the haymaker my 100 generations of ancestors before me launched into her mandible through my fist. so i am one step further from my goal, but one step further from the longhouse's grip

although many, who, suspiciously seem to all be sporting similarly towel-boy-esque profile pictures, have suggested i take estrogen in order to induce shrinkage of my oversized member into a more hellenistic state which, while this may potentially be effective, i would have never had the Nietzschian vitality to overcome these hostile forces which threatened to sweep me away into a riptide of prearyan venus worship into the sea of barbarism. please do NOT continue to suggest this!! it appears to be a misunderstanding of my goals

in the meantime i will be experimenting with megadosing brazilian wandering spider antivenom. as you may know the brazilian wandering spider, much like the wretched beasts we refer to as women, have a knack for poisoning men with the curse of unbearable and unstoppable erections. my hope is that i can induce the opposite effect, if i megadose the antivenom perhaps i could induce shrinkage instead of expansion. i consulted with claude and it told me i am playing my own self for a fool, which likely means i am marching towards the summit of my goal if the demiurge's saturn worshipping truth machine is trying to pull me astray from this path

i must run, as there are sirens on the street and i am a wanted man, an outlaw amongst the ruins. but i welcome any and all adversity, as a true Nietzscian vitalist would. i bid you all dangerous travels, and i hope for you all to wish me the same. HEIL VRIL

[Book Club California @BookClubCali]

Generally, the worst people on the planet have an increased need to be social, pleasant, and likable so they can keep getting away with whatever obscene problem behavior they probably haven’t been able to stop doing since adolescence. Sometimes it’s only that deep.

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

@dtnols "Hello I see you are hiring for a job, I am looking for a job I was hoping-"
"Oh god fucking ANNOYING JOBLESS FREAKS"
lol, lmao even

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

@CatgirlErika "Only my experience is valid."

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

@minawawawaw

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

@RealDianeYap Me when an autistic person talks to me.

[Divergence Line @DivergenceLine]

@val_does_stuff2 I was never this bad but anxiety meds helped, It was kind of like decision paralysis, also adhd, bad combo for real