Dragon Car

Out of context dungeons and dragon quotes, shenanigans, and idiocy. The shit that comes out of our heads...

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Just go with "Thank the Gods," it's like "Happy Holidays."

#DnD #theyCanHearYouYouKnow

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

"I need the chair to make a perception check. "

This is a sentence I did not think I would say today.

#dndmemes #dnd #spiderThroneOfLolth

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Touching a magical artifact while pregnant may lead to side effects like main character syndrome, as well as cancer in the state of California

#DnD

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Monk: See what comes with intelligence? *gestures to the rest of the party* Trauma.

#DnD #Pathfinder

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

*while in a drow bat roost figuring out how to sneak around with a single guard*
Well, we could go with that plan, but I kinda want to be this particular batmans' origin story so RELEASE THE BATS!

#dnd #heIsTheNight #ohNoHeJustGotEaten

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Player 1: I think these things may just be immune to magic.

Player 2: Huh, well let's see how immune they are to TIGER!

#DnD #summonerButNotReally

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

There are too many goblins in this hospital.

#DnD

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Kali: Listen, the amount of warcrimes I commited in the past 30 seconds...

#DnD #theTwoGrenadesInTheMedicalTentWereABitTooMuch

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

I think you guys are underestimating how terrifying gators with thumbs are!

#DnD #thumbsUpWhileDeathRolling

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Warpriest: Shouldn't we check the kitchen?
Bloodrager: I dont know, do you want to fight the animated knife that goes "daddy"??

#DnD #weCanWaitForASnack #hauntedHouse

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Player1: What is on this desk?
DM: You see some papers, some jewelry, and a hat.
Player1: I takes the hat.
Player2: What else do I see?
DM: You see some dresses on some racks, one of them has pockets!
Player2: I TAKE THE DRESS!
DM: Your hands stick.
Player3: REALLY?!

#dnd #mimic

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Player 1: Do we have to go in the spooky elder god cave?

Player 2: Do we have any other option?

Player 3: Well i have a grenade, we can always hold hands, form a circle while singing koombaya, and then pull the pin

Other players: *nod head*

#DnD #theOnlyFeasibleOption

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Player 1: So what are the dimensions of Cubert the slime? Is he actually 4x4x4?

Player 2: HIS NAME IS CUBERT! NOT RECTANGLEBERT!

#DnD #askStupidQuestions #slime

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

DM: So what weapons do you have?

Monk: I have a spear, quarterstaff, wave blade, dagger, and shuriken, and my god given body

DM: Of course you listed your body as a weapon.

#DnD

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Monk: I don't want to be the cooked meat! I. Have. Standards.

#DnD #theAlchemistIsKinderThanI

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Harbinger: And while I could go in there solo, I cannot get her out and I am not idiot.

Rest of party: Really? And what does that feel like?

Harbinger: Like a +6 to a lot of rolls

#DnD #weNeededAnIntCharacter

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

@oreo_borealis DM described a syringe full of caterpillar-like constructs. Those have no business being in the blood!

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

"Lich": Listen, as someone who has not had a lot of blood in their blood for a long time, caterpillars don't belong there!

#DnD #naturalRemedies

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

DM: "You slay the bear and its body falls forward. She is dead, but you take solace in the knowledge that she is now in whatever afterlife her and her cub are in"

Monk: Stew.

#dnd #itsNotCalledFlurryOfTact

[Dragon Car @DnDullards]

Player1: "....and the Drow Queen was Biden in disguise!"
Player2: "I knew they were too thicc to be a true drow"

#DnD