Dustin New

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/5Vg98CvcXF "It's not you, it's me. " - twins looking at family photos

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

Ceilings were just ambitious walls. http://t.co/bmyzUe34cV

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home. http://t.co/rJPUP4hH5o

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home. http://t.co/Uo0kKuPUww

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/eoewFdZpyO Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February.

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/lbqehgAQYF

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/3y1c9PiRdL I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman.

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/q9JhJqyjop Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass.

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you? http://t.co/oYO4IiK1hn

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/pMswZa7uiv

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/KYh0HE5BUK Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass.

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass. http://t.co/CA6I8x5usV

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/J988uXgoeH Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February.

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade http://t.co/lJnkYW0ZiW

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt? http://t.co/FHwaIh97Bh

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/LaEN0C9n19 No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence? http://t.co/Rx1ISURX4v

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/itwdAoEHOD No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/dcPOutbR7B No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.

[Dustin New @Dnew20]

http://t.co/LFaxkRQvWI I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade