Kaitlyn Ward

You shoulda never called me a fat ass Kelly Price

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Please don’t tell me to go with my gut because a bitch has IBS

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

I just want my own house and yard to put a kiddie pool in so I can lay out and roast in the summer. And I want to paint my walls and refurbish some wood and shit. There are so many beautiful historic homes around here and I’m heated so I’m ranting to twitter.

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Please for the love of god, I need to slum lords of Columbia to stop buying single family historic homes and chopping them up into 3 apartments to charge insane rent for. It’s make it impossible to find an actual SINGLE FAMILY HOME to rent/buy.

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

I don’t want to split a previously 3 bed 2 bath house with 6 other tenants because you threw up some drywall and want to charge 1500 bucks per person in rent. And everything on the market is absolutely sliced and diced OR every inch of personality & history has been painted over.

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

In that season of work where I’m scared to open my emails every morning

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Helpppp we’re doing the UI/UX portion of our website redevelopment and I haven’t used the creative side of my brain in 15 years. I think it’s been replaced with microplastics.

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

White dudes stay mad after straight up looting sacred native sites and getting held accountable. If you have to be secretive about your “collection” you know you’re in the wrong and if we have to call the FBI on your ass we definitely have a good reason

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

There is nothing scarier on this planet than the Bolton Strid and you can’t tell me otherwise

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

When I get a scan request for a 900 page spiral bound report… 💀💀💀 Every time I have to use one of these contraptions I get one step closer to ending it all.

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Every teams meeting I have regarding our website redevelopment takes a year off my life and I fear I’m close to the end

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Having a hereditary double chin is a curse I would only wish on my worst enemies. Bigger Kaitlyn? Double chin. Skinny Kaitlyn? STILL DOUBLE CHIN!?! Gonna get this shit handled before I get married whether that be via witchcraft, surgery, or massive amounts of face tape

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Just accidentally researched a WWII German High Power gun on my USC work computer and now I’m probably on a watch list :((( I promise it was for historic preservation purposes ahhh!!!!

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

My inner child needs to slide down the slide at the strawberry farm this weekend

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Why don’t we just kill all the alligators?? It’s seems like they’ve over stayed their welcome on earth, being basically dinosaurs and all….and like…there’s just too many?

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

All that’s to say, it’s extremely entertaining and probably the best decision I’ve ever made as far as unhinged bathroom reading material.

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

I’ve joined every SC artifact hunting group on Facebook to commit light espionage and to make sure these old, white mf’ers are staying in their lanes, and the amount of sheer, meth-fueled delusion I’ve observed is insane.

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Like sir, that is quite literally not. And DON’T GET ME STARTED on the fact that most of them unironically post pictures of their top secret ~rock giant graveyard~ sites…and yes, I know the lore….but you’re just standing in a boulder field grandpa!! I promise!!

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Perfectly executed 5 geodatabases with over 1000 features each across a 500 mile radius and it ain’t even 10:30 yet. Let’s have a moment of silence for my teeth and nails that are thoroughly ground down to freaky lil nubs.

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

Annnnd that’s the second member of the public to bring me a box of rocks claiming they are effigies, dinosaurs bones, etc.

I love sweet old people with an interest in history but yall gotta stop getting pissed when I break the news that your rock collection isn’t cultural :(

[Kaitlyn Ward @DoYouHaveRanch]

I honestly EXPECTED my reproductive rights to be governed by these wrinkley critters during this administration but I DID NOT think they would come for my entire career field in the 1st month. Not a great time to be in the preservation and CRM/compliance fields my friends.